Monday, 27 December 2010

Hellooooo.....I am back .... properly this time !!!

Huge apologies for my absence, and a massive belated Happy Christmas and I wish you all a very happy and healthy New Year....

I have had so many things going on in my life this year. Some good and some bad, but right now, I am happier than I have been in a long, long time. I will fill you in as the weeks go by.

The most amazing thing has happened. I have met a wonderful man called Jim. We met in October and my life has been fulfilled in such a way that I didn't think was possible. I'm unconditionally happy. There are no stresses or dramas, no arguing or moaning, no resentments or unhappiness... We both have 3 children each, and have met each others families....its all soooo good. I will fill you in a bit more as the weeks go by on this gorgeous man that has captured my heart.....I will leave you with a few pics though, so you know who I am talking about.

However, all this happiness has somehow made me slip off the rails big time in the weight department...!! and I am determined to start getting a grip on my weight again now. I have been letting things slide in this department for a few months now, and if I don't jump back on the wagon soon, I am going to regret it big time !! Hence the reason I am back here for all your inspiration that you give to me without even realising it. So thank you bloggers for being here for me to turn through out the good and the bad. Your blogs are still amazing, and this time, I WILL be reporting in with weigh in results each week. I have not even weighed myself in about 6 weeks now. I'm dreading getting on, but I will. I am starting my weight loss journey again on the 2nd January, and I look forward to following you all in the new year.....

I hope you are all as happy as me right now....its good to be back with a smile on my face x Piccys as promised .....

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Wednesday, 27 October 2010

what can I say ?............

......apart from I'm so sorry. I appear to have been absent for some considerable time.... eeek !!

A lot has been happening, and I've been working so hard too. I'm literally just grabbing a few mins away from the ironing to say hello. I hope you are all doing ok. Have not had chance to read your blogs, but I am determined to get on here at least once a week in the coming weeks.

I have not weighed myself for about 3 weeks now, been slightly off the rails ...!! I will endeavour to put this right... NOW .... before its too late. I will weigh in on Friday, although I am going out for a meal tomorrow night which will not do me any favours the following morning !! However, I need to get a grip now....and the best way I know how to do that is by coming on here and reading your blogs that give me such inspiration.

So although this is short and sweet, I am back, and again.....sorry for being a dreadful blogger lately !!

Catch you soon xx

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Wednesday, 15 September 2010

note to oneself...need to blog more often !!x

Helloooooo there !! How ya all doing ? Sorry its been a while from me again, so much to say, but yet not finding the time to get on here !!
Things are still going well with my new found freedom. I am enjoying being on my own, I don't have to answer to anyone and I feel so much happier. My girls are happier now too, and that is so important to me. How can one person make everyone else feel so miserable ?? I just don't understand the need to be like that ! But hey, there is rarely a day goes by now without me smiling, laughing, chatting and just generally enjoying life. What a great feeling !!
On the weight front I am being almost saintly....I say almost because I seem to have a great system working for me at the moment. I am 100% good Monday to Friday, and then I have almost anything I want on the weekend. Last week I lost 3 lbs !! I am over the moon with that. I weighed in at 12st 6 lbs...which is only 1 lb away from where I was at the beginning of January, so yay !!! I'm feeling good about that. Just want to try and get back into the 11's again for Christmas (dare I say the C word in September lol!! ) .... I was 11st 12lbs last Christmas Eve, and I would be very happy to be back there watch this space !!
So what have I been up to? I had a brill night out (what I can remember of it lol) with the lovely Karon on Saturday night. I don't even remember coming home, but Karon assures me we had a good time !!! I went to Gt Yarmouth on Sunday to spend the day with my was a beautiful warm sunny day. I suppose I had a NSV whilst there...I was forced kicking and screaming onto the roller coaster !!! I did it without need two seats to!!! My bum is obviously a lot smaller now than the last time I went on that about 20 years ago !!!
So how ya all doing? I've been lurking a little just grabbing the odd moment or two on here to browse your blogs, and must say its good to see some people really focused and back in the zone....well done to everyone, as this journey is so hard, and to keep plugging away at it month after month deserves praise, so WELL DONE everyone !!
Its good to have a catch up with you. I'm going off to take my nail varnish off, have a lovely bath and just chill tonight....... the peace is amazing...the girls are on holiday and I have the whole house to myself....bliss !!!
Catch ya all soon my lovies xx

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Saturday, 28 August 2010

I'm back !!

So sorry about my lack of blogging recently ! A lot has been going on, all good I may add, and life in general is better than its been in a VERY long time !!!
I had my lovely daughter Kirsty's engagement party to cater for on the 14th August. The party went well and it's good to see her and her fiance Mark really happy. My reservations about this relationship at first due to their age difference, is no longer there. The two of them are besotted with each other, and who am I to say it won't work? Its their lives, and I'm very happy for them, and I wish them every happiness.

After the party, I had my uncle Frank stay for a few days which was lovely. He is such a happy wonderful little Irish man, and its always a pleasure to have him spend time with us. I also had a good girly get together with a couple of friends, one from work and one whom left our work place a year ago. It was soooooo good to spend some time with the pair of them. We polished off several bottles of wine :o) , munched our way through chicken carbonara, and the evening was just brill. So relaxing.
I'm also pleased to say that I am over the moon to be single now. I have not got any intentions of meeting anyone serious yet, just want to spend time with my girls. I now have the house signed over to me, and all in all, I am a very happy bunny. Life really couldn't be much better right now :o)
After my week off, I'm now back to work and busy, busy. My only regret is I haven't been able to spend much time off with my other two girls, Sophie and Shannon. But they are back to school in this coming week...... I cannot believe those 6 weeks have gone already !! ?
On the weight side of things, I have been almost saintly !! My willpower is back 100%. Some days I go over points, but immediately claw them back the next day. I'm so happy to be in the zone again. I am now going to go and have a look at your blogs and see how your all doing and I promise not to go absent again for so long !!
Have a good weekend guys xx

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Thursday, 12 August 2010

pampering and over indulgence...!! but a great day...

Had a lovely day yesterday. I won a pamper day for two people at Clarice House in Bury St Edmunds and decided to take along the lovely Karon as a kind of belated 40th birthday prezzie.
We spent the day using the spa, sauna, steam room, swimming pool, had a facial, a manicure, a 3 course was heaven !!! :O) . We even ended up dozing by the pool was the perfect relaxing day. Lunch was fantastic. I started with pork and bacon terrine, served with salad and granary bread...yum....then for mains opted for the Clarice burger which was huge !! This was served with was soooooo good and drizzled with cheese and bacon...I dread to think how many points were in that !! ...not had a burger that good before !! For pud I opted for an apricot pie with amaretto die for !! Needless to say, I have not counted the points at all...I was determined just to enjoy the day and worry about the weight later !! But the whole experience was fab and I would definately like to go back again. I'm really glad Karon enjoyed herself .
This however, was not the end of a brill day .... why does everything happen on the same day?
A work colleague from the Doctors Surgery is leaving and going to live in America, so last night was her planned leaving do. I got back from Clarice House about 6.40 and had to be at the meal (yes another meal!!!!) by 7.30 !! I just about made it on time, but to be honest I didn't really need anymore food !! However, some how I managed to divulge deep fried brie in breadcrumbs for starter, and steak and ale pie, mash and veg for mains, but I did pass on dessert... (sigh of relief from my stomach!)...Im still full up now 12 hours later !! But all in all a brill day and night.
Ive now got my daughters engagement party to look forward to Saturday night. Its going to be a busy 48 hours leading up to it, but I'm looking forward to it none the less. Should be a good night.
Not sure if I will step on the scales tomorrow....Ive got a feeling my 3 lb loss from last week is going to be history and a definate GAIN is in order !! Maybe I will be brave and go for it....will let you know how I get on if I do !!

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Sunday, 8 August 2010

I really must stop worrying what people think....

Well things are going along quite nicely now. It's been 3 weeks since hubby left, and life is starting to pick up again. I'm feeling positive about things. I'm enjoying being free to do what I want without having to hear moaning from anyone else and my girls seem happier, which is great. And furthermore I've been totally focused on the ww side of things, and I lost a lovely 3 lbs this week !! I haven't had a loss like that for blooming ages, so it was very gratefully received.
I've now got a week off from work !! whoop whoop !! Really need a break from work. I will be busy however, planning and preparing the food for my daughters engagement party next Saturday night. We are catering for about 200 people, so its going to be busy, busy for me !! I am really looking forward to the party. Ive been shopping today looking for something nice to wear. I do have a lovely dress at home, but not sure about it....will have to do a fashion show I think in front of my girls to get their opinions ! Still hate my belly and arms which is what is preventing me from wearing the dress....but we will see. Its about time I started liking myself 6 stone lighter than I was, instead of always picking fault with the way I look.... will I ever learn to just relax and enjoy myself and don't give a monkeys about what other people think I look like ? One day I hope !!

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Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Would somebody please tell me where the weeks are going? Time is flying by.... I just cannot believe that we are about to enter August already !!!
I've been working very long hours this past two weeks, in some ways this is good. It's bringing in the extra money which I will be needing and it's helping to take my mind off all the other things going on in my life, but the only downside to this extra work is the hours I am away from my girls. Luckily 2 evenings a week they have dinner at their Nans, and 2 evenings a week dinner at their dads, and then one night every weekend they stay at their dads, so I'm quite lucky to have some good support. However, I now find myself with TWO DAYS OFF WORK!!! Me excited, YES !! So plan for today is to take youngest to the dentist, and then head to the shops with both of them. I'm really looking forward to spending some quality time with them.....hopefully go to the pictures today or tomorrow aswell...
On the ww side of things, I have been an angel, apart from last night. My eldest daughter and her now Fiance returned from her holiday in Corfu and decided to come round and spend time with her Mum :O) ... we ended up ordering Chinese, which was heavenly...I haven't had anything naughty in a long time, so I made the most of it !! I haven't dared step on the scales yet this morning, perhaps I will wait for Friday !!!
Hope you all have a great day xx

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Saturday, 24 July 2010

One week on .....

Well I have survived the first week since hubby left. One week today he went, and all in all its been a good week. I have not had any moments where I have regretted my decision at all, on the contrary really, even though pretty much he has text me every day to say he is missing me and wants me back. I have stuck to my guns and been strong. I know thats not what I want.
I'm trying to get organised as a single person. Finances are pretty much in order, and to be honest things are not looking as bad in that department as I thought they would be. With having two jobs this really helps, although sometimes I wish I didn't so I could spend more time with my girls during the six week hols. But its not as if they are little. They are capable of amusing themselves for a while !
Housework is proving a little tiring after long days at work, but although I'm pretty much on top of everything, I may rope in some additional help from the girls while they are on holiday ! They don't know it yet !!

Emotionally I feel happier than I have done for a long time. My lovely friend Karon came over Thursday night for a lovely natter and a cuppa. I think she could see a difference in me already! We talked for a few hours and had a giggle which was nice. If my hubby had of been there he would have moaned about someone coming over mid-week when he needed to get sleep before work, but now I can please myself!
On top of all of this, I am 100% focused on the ww front. In fact I have lost 2lbs !!! Im now 12st 11 lbs . Over the moon with that. I'm looking forward to getting the next 13 pounds off to be back to where I was before Christmas. I really feel in the zone again....hoooray !!

So all in all a good week ! Thank you all again for your lovely comments on my last post. You really are such lovely people, and I really appreciate it.
I noticed this week that I have reached 100 followers of my blog !! Wow that is amazing ! I'm honoured and touched to think people want to know about me, especially when I have been down a lot lately. But thank you, each and every one of you, thank you for taking the time to follow me. It truly means a lot xxxxxx

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Sunday, 18 July 2010

Its finally over .......

After all these months of uncertainty, hubby has now finally left. He left yesterday. There have been tears, lots of tears, from both him and me. Although I dont hate him, or dislike him, I know I couldn't have carried on another month, let alone another 25 years with him. It would of been easier if I hated him. Instead of the tears there would have been anger, but no. I truly wish him happiness in the future. Its going to be a struggle financially for me, but I'm prepared for that. I dont know how I feel emotionally. Its odd not having him here, its strange not having someone to chat too like now for example when the kids are out. Its strange to have the bed to myself, its strange not to hear him moaning ...... there is a kind of peace in the air, a feeling of freedom......a fresh new life is just beginning for of independence, and thats what I want x

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Saturday, 10 July 2010

light at the end of the tunnel.....

.... this picture seems to sum it all up to me right now.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. All the crap I'm going through right now will
all be a distant memory in a few months time. And at the end of the tunnel
I believe that there will be something better for me, something more worthwhile, something worth waiting for. I dont know what and I don't know when, but I have to believe things will be better.
I've now told hubby its over. I've urged him to look for another place, and he has

an appointment booked to look at a house on Tuesday at 5.30. I've opened up a
new bank account in just my name to have all my direct debits transferred and
to close our joint account. I'm already feeling better by starting these little steps
to happiness and I'm feeling more positive already. Furthermore, I have been brilliant this week with the weight ! I'm back in the 12's, and thats closer to where I want to be....

Whatever the coming months will bring, I'm ready for it. The ups the downs, and eventually a new life that I am fully in control of....

Thank you for your support guys over the last couple of weeks, you help more
than you know x

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Monday, 5 July 2010

A heartfelt thank you x

I just want to say a huge thank you to the lovely people that replied to my last blog. Your kind words bought tears to my eyes. You really are a great bunch of people, and your wise words have helped me along in the next step of my journey....
After a couple more incidents this weekend, with my 37 year old child (husband) , I know now that its most definately over. By the end of summer I hope for everything to be sorted. Houses and possessions are only material goods, my heart deserves more happiness than this.
Thank you all so much for your lovely words. Your all wonderful x x

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Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Hello bloggers, sorry, but I think I need your advice - falling apart

Hi guys,

Sorry, but I'm at the end of my tether.
I have so many things going on in my personal life and work life, that I don't know if I can cope anymore. I'm sorry to burden you, I just needed someone to talk to.

I would like to thank you all deeply for those that replied to my last post. I had some lovely responses, and I must say, you are all so wise, I just wish I were like you. But the truth is, I'm not. I'm what they call a shrinking violet, have no self esteem, no value to my life, I don't think I'm worthy of anything. To be honest, 99% of the time I think of myself a a failure. I've always failed. In everything. There is nothing that stands out in my life as success, but my3 beautiful girls. I love my girls to bits, but beyond that ............ nothing.

I told my father in law to f*ck off after my last post. How bloody dare he suggest my hubby of 3 and a half years should take half my house, when I have been in it 20 years. I don't want anything to do with them. They are scum and always will be.

I reluctantly decided to stay put with hubby . Wrong !!! To be honest I feel sorry for him. He has a family that won't take him back, a wife that truly doesn't love him but pretends to. How bad is that? Ok I'm awful. But he said he would go to a solicitor to have the house put in my name, I didn't ask him to, but yet again, I didn't deter him either. He is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo childish. Only Monday night, after deep indepth conversations to stay together, wanting him to grow up, he decided monday night at 9pm to invite me to sit in the garden with him. I said yes. I sat out there, within 5 mins he was chasing round the garden the midgies with a tennis raquet. Fine. We were within our own 4 walls. It was when he decided to walk, bare foot, out of the garden gate to hit the midgies with a tennis raquet to all neighbours hedges, walking up and down the street that I was so embarrassed. I sat there in the garden alone thinking what a big child he is. I honestly know now that I don't love him. Ive tried, but I want a man, a proper man, not a 37 year old kid. I just have to tell him properly now.

As to the weight, thats out the window now , and work is a whole new problem. F*ck it all, thats what I say x

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Thursday, 17 June 2010

new beginnings .....

I don't often talk about my relationship with my hubby. Not much to say really.
I haven't been happy for a long while with him, for many reasons. He does not get on with my youngest daughter at all, which is a real strain. They are always arguing. It feels that each of them is competing for my attention, which is hard when Im doing such weird hours at work. I get exhausted listening to them pick on each other to be honest.
My hubby is also very childish. When I met him, he was still living with his mum and dad. This is 4 and a half years ago, and he is now 37. He has never had to start from scratch creating a home. He has never even bought a piece of furniture. In fact it has all been laid on a plate for him since he started living with me 4 years ago. I have lived in my home for 20 years, and bought and paid for everything. Ok, he does contribute towards all the bills, but I work blooming hard to pay my half too. But now, we have decided to split up. We have nothing in common, and although I dont hate him or dislike him, I have decided to end our relationship.
I have never liked his family, as you may remember from previous posts, but I really have tried to get on with them. Tried even helping them to decorate, had them over for meals, and yet not one word of thanks. They are all from a different world that I was bought up in, but now, I just want out of it....
Bearing in mind Ive lived here 20 years, and it is the roof over my childrens heads, and I have paid for everything in it, my disgusting horrible father-in-law has told my other half to *take me for half the house* ... !! He has only lived here for 4 flipping years after leaving mummy and daddys filthy disgusting nest .... believe me, they have never ever worked hard to make things nice. Their place is disgusting, and yet, now, because I want to end the relationship, I could now lose everything. Life is the pits at times ..........

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Sunday, 13 June 2010

How do you tell someone you don't love them anymore ?

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Saturday, 12 June 2010

another weigh in .....

Another weigh in and another pound gained ... hhhrrmmpphhh !! Back to 12st 13 lbs again :o( .... but TOTM did arrive 2 days before weigh in, so who knows what it would have been if mother nature hadn't of reared her head again. Oh well onwards to the next week..... having said that my mum has just treated hubby and I to an Indian meal, which was absolutely gorgeous and I feel totally stuffed !! I haven't had Indian food in over 2 years, so I don't feel too guilty !! However, its a good job its another 6 days til weigh in !
Its been a busy old week again. Busy, but good. I feel something is about to happen on the house front. We are changing estate agents now to a local firm now, and feel convinced that this should get us sold in the very near future. I think the mistake we made was to advertise with a company from out of the area. Hopefully after the 22nd when the contract ends, we can make a fresh start and get moving soon. We have been to view several places recently, all rather nice, so just hoping they dont get snapped up before we get sold ! Would dearly love to get moved and settled before the end of the year, so fingers crossed.
A lot has been happening at work and Im enjoying both my jobs right now, and feel very fortunate. To have 2 jobs and enjoy them both is brill. I never thought I would see the day where getting up for work was a pleasure , rather than a chore. The new challenge of Practice Manager is going well, so long may it continue.
I haven't been out at all lately though, so feel that needs to change. Darts has stopped for me at the moment, but the ladies of the darts team are having a get together tomorrow afternoon. Think I may join them for a glass of wine ...sounds like a good plan to me :o) ...
So all in all things are good. Positivity on the weight side is pretty high, but I have noticed my tracking is a bit hit and miss at the moment. Im guessing points and not always writing things down, so this week that is my aim, to make sure I track everything. Im still drinking my water, and eating healthily during the week, so who knows, I may even lose some weight this week ....
Ok guys, so its over and out from me now. Keep blogging, I love reading them, and hope you all have a good week. TTFN xx

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Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Angel or Devil ......

Half way through the week ..... Angel or Devil ? ..... truthful 75% Angel ... 25% Devil ..... will it be enough to swing a loss on Friday ? . .... mmmmmmmmmm......x

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Sunday, 6 June 2010

determination, trainers and Christmas !!

Hi Guys

Yet another week has passed since I last wrote my blog, and I simply cannot believe how fast this year is going. The weeks are all blending into one and to think that we are only 2 weeks away from the longest day of the year, and then the nights start drawing in again is quite a frightening thought !! Before we know it, the *C* word will be on the cards, and that brings me to my next focus on my weight loss journey.
Now I'm sorry to be talking about the *C* word in June, but I'm going to aim to be back in the 11's before the tinsel is out and christmas crackers are pulled !!
I had a STS this week. Im 12st 12 lbs. Last Christmas I weighed 11st 12 lbs, so I have gained a stone in 6 months, and Im determined not to gain another pound more. My new enthusiasm has seen me take to my trainers today to do a fast 2 mile walk first thing this morning, and Ive eaten like an angel. I WILL see a loss on the scales this week. My water bottle is ready, there is fresh salad in the fridge, and there are no more excuses. To help me focus, I am going to photograph my weigh ins (if I remember !!) every Friday morning to help keep me accountable. As I dont get weighed at class, I think I need you guys watching my weigh ins so that you can all keep me in check. Hope you don't mind. If you see the scales going up, please feel free to give me a very stern kick up the **** !!!!
Thanks guys x x x

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Monday, 31 May 2010

my week ..........

Having had a brilliant healthy week, I felt terrific. Eating healthily, exercising , tracking and drinking water ... me ? Yes, totally for a whole week !!!! It made me feel great, but you can guess how I felt when Friday came, time to get weighed and I see a one pound GAIN looking back at me !!!!! What ??! How can that be? This weight loss malarkey can be so cruel sometimes ......
But hey, Im determined. Im not going to let that beat me. Although, however, my halo has slipped slightly with having fish and chips on Friday and a mammoth BBQ yesterday, and also my boss at work has started to get into the habit of buying lunch for me last Thursday and Friday. They were healthy lunches, but none the less, must nip that in the bud. His selections have been rice and pasta, and both hold water so maybe I will just ask for a salad if he does it again this week, bless him. Don't want to go hurting his feelings, or he won't do it again, and its about time he appreciated me !!! Anyway, claw back has begun today and Im determined to get a loss at the scales this week.
Life in general still hectic, but right now Im loving it. I had a massive clean out in my daughters bedroom this week. Ive never seen so much rubbish !! But I decided it had to be done. 3 black bin bags later and her bedroom can now be called a bedroom instead of the local dump. Just got to do the other daughters bedroom today, and that will make me feel better. Yes I know they should do it themselves, but they are sooooooo lazy and they never do it properly anyway, so I may aswell do it.

My house is still up for sale. Its been on the market nearly 6 months now and Im getting fed up. Ive been to look at 2, 3 bedroomed bungalows on Saturday and we have another one to view today, but why oh why won't someone buy mine :O( .... its not a bad house, in fact its a lovely house. Ive done so much work in here, but I just feel its time to move after 20 years. I need a fresh start. So cleaning out the clutter now, hopefully will save me some work when and if we get someone interested enough to make an offer. We have only had one offer in all that time, although plenty of people looking round, but I can now see why they say selling a house can be one of the most stressful things people do !! Fingers crossed now that we have dropped the price a bit, that someone may come very soon and buy it !
Anyway, on a scale of one to ten for life right now.....Im going to give it an 8 . Like I said, its hectic, but good. All I need now is to move and lose this weight and I will be happy !
Anyway take care guys. Still love reading your blogs . Catch ya soon x

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Tuesday, 25 May 2010

ho hum ........

Isn't it weird how life can be . Before my holiday I was struggling like crazy with my weight, having gone up and down like a yo-yo for a year. But now, I have my desire back..... the will power is here and Im doing everything by the book and back to basics. I haven't felt this positive for ages, and its good to get it back. So why is it, that a sneaky peek is showing a gain !!!!!! aaaarrrggghhhhh..... ok, ok, I know I shouldn't sneaky peek, but thats the only way I know how to stay focused, and yes I know I still have until Friday to properly weigh in, but how utterly gutting. And to top it off Im having a *FAT* day ... I feel HUGE !!!! Is it any wonder that people give in ? Luckily my positive frame of mind is going to just think of this as a temporary blip, and look forward to seeing a LOSS on Friday.....or else !! x

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Friday, 21 May 2010

Ive found my willpower again !!

Yay !!! 3 pounds off for me this week. Back to 12 st 11 pounds. I'm really pleased with this. To have been able to get straight back on track after my holiday is all new to me. In the past a gain of 8 pounds would have meant throwing in the towel and saying sod it. But not this time. I had started to feel uncomfortable in my clothes, started noticing the extra bulges on my tummy and realising that I didn't feel or look as good as I could. I felt sluggish and tired and I don't want to be going down this road again. Its amazing what I have learnt this time round. Im learning to read my body language, and right now my body is saying .... be good, get back on track, you want to feel and look good don't you? And yes, I do. I want that more than anything and furthermore, I want to be healthy !!! More than ever in my life before, I am now listening to the signals that my body wants to be looked after, and I owe it that after 41 years, surely !!
So Ive started tracking again (which I havent done properly for about a month) , Ive started drinking as much water as I can, and Im eating fresh and healthy food. Long may this continue. Ive faffed about for the last 10 months, in fact, I still weigh the same as I did in July 09. I suppose the good thing in that is I haven't gained more, so thats a mini achievement I suppose ! But now that I seem to have found my willpower again, Im gonna hold onto it as tight as I can x

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Saturday, 15 May 2010

back from holiday .......

Well the long awaited holiday has now been and gone, and what a wonderful holiday it was. I have come home re-freshed and relaxed after a lovely week in the warm sunshine.

I have a lovely sun-tan, some brilliant memories and some great pictures. I also have a lovely friend with whom I shared this holiday, and I want to say thank you Karon for helping to make it a great week. We had a lot of giggles, too much food, and the odd cocktail or three !!! Ive got some brilliant memories which will stay with me always. I even managed to see turtles swimming in the sea.... how awsome was that !!

The downside to coming home is I have come home to a rather large gain at the scales. The Friday before I went (2 weeks ago) I weighed 12st 6 lbs. Yesterday, Friday, I weighed in at 13 stone exactly. I think I came off lightly with an 8 pound gain because on Wednesday morning it was showing 13 stone 7 which when I saw that I nearly fell through the floor !!! I think a lot of activity on the loo managed to throw those extra 7 pounds off straight away thank goodness !! So needless to say, Im back with avengance !! Im going to lose this weight. Im going to get back to where I was before Christmas (11st 12 lb), I am going to stick with this. Yes I enjoyed every single bite on holiday. The food was delicious, but its now time to knuckle down and get serious. I want this next 2 stone off before Christmas, so watch this space !!

Hope your all keeping well guys.... I will leave you all with a few piccys of our fabulous holiday...... and I look forward to the next one x please watch our nutty video below.... it makes me laugh every time I see it x

Monday, 3 May 2010

HOLIDAY !!!!! Zante tomorrow :o)))) x x

Hi guys .... just wanted to say hello and goodbye quickly before Karon and I go on our holiday tomorrow to Zante !!! to say Im excited is an understatement !! The suitcase has been packed and unpacked a thousand times, but now, its finally done. Tomorrow lunchtime we take off. Im looking forward to doing nothing for a week !! The only exercise I want is to raise my hand to my mouthwith a cocktail in it !!! I will do it several times, so perhaps that will be exercise of some sort !!
Hope you guys are all well. I promise several piccys for when we come home. TTFN :o))) x x x

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Sunday, 25 April 2010

Im impressed !.....

Well considering I wasn't holding out much hope for WI this week, as social events coming thick and fast, I must say I am very impressed to have lost 1 pound !!
Last Friday (16th) was my daughters birthday and we went for a meal that evening which was my last weigh in day prior to this one just gone. I opted for cod and chips, I just had an urge to have cod and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Then on the Saturday (17th) we had the lovely Karon and her partner Russ come round for dinner. For starters we had leek and potato soup, with warm baguettes. For mains we had roast beef , yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes, boiled potatoes, green beans, swede, peas, carrots, and gravy. Then for dessert there were several ww options available and also a fresh fruit salad, but we were rather naughty and opted for strawberry gateaux !! Yummmmmm.... . Then on Tuesday I went for a meal with the Osteopaths and receptionists where I work as someone was retiring. The meal was delicious. I had salad lyonnaise which basically was poached egg on salad leaves with bacon bits and garlic croutons. For mains I opted for chicken breast topped with a sliced tomato and a sprinkling of cheese and it was all laying on dolphinoise potatoes. And for dessert I shared a mint chocolate cheesecake and an amaretto mousse ....absolutely devine !!! The evening was lovely. So to have lost a pound after all of this, Im very happy with that. That takes me back down to 12st 5 lb. That is two losses in a row now, could I possibly make it 3 I wonder ?
Yesterday was lovely. Karon and I went last minute holiday shopping !! We went to Matalan and spent 3 hrs .... yes I said 3 HRS in there !! Retail therapy is sooooooooo good for you, I must do it again soon !! I spent too much, but I did end up buying some lovely things for the holiday. I think Karon was very impressed as she had never been to Matalan before. Looking forward to next time :O)....

Last night I was out again with my friends Tracy and Georgina. We went to a charity darts night, and had such a giggle. We had to get paired up with a member of the opposite sex. Our names were pulled out of a box and I ended up with a nice man called Andy ;O) , and Im delighted to say we got into the FINAL !!!! Yay !!! Unfortunately we didn't win the final, but were presented with a prezzy, and had a great time. I came home at nearly 1 o clock in the morning with armfulls of raffle prizes. Tin of roses chocolates, bottle of Amaretto, Bottle of wine, Box of crackers for cheese, smellies ....the list goes on !! A great night was had by all !! Im sooooooo loving my social life right now. It couldn't be better ! Never have I had a social life as busy as this, and its brill.

Well its 9 days now til my holiday in Zante with say I am excited is putting it mildly... I can't wait !!! I am sooooo ready to be lazing around doing absolutely nothing on a sunbed in the heat with an Ouzo in my hand !!! Roll on 4th May :o) ....

Well thats enough from me now. Have a good day guys. Catch ya all soon ...... X

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Friday, 23 April 2010

Its 2am in the morning, and yet again, I can't sleep. Im shattered, but I have so much on my mind with work, that I either can't sleep or when I do sleep, I end up dreaming about work !!! AAarrrggghhhh !!!

My boss is really piling on the pressure now. Its rediculous !!!! I only have one pair of hands for bleep's sake !!!! Since the practice manager resigned in February, I have been given the work that she was doing, without the title, and to add insult to injury, I have to do the said tasks within my reception shifts and its all getting too much. He is saving himself a mint ! Where as he was paying two people to do the job, muggings here is doing it all for the price of one !! Why am I such an idiot ??? !!!!!!! GGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........................ Sorry, rant over !!

Not only this, I have been back to the nurse for my dressing to be changed on my back, and its refusing to heal properly now. Its got a lot of discharge coming out and now needs to be packed again !! Im fed up :O( ........

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Friday, 16 April 2010

What a busy week and its still not finished ! Ive been working my long shifts all week, hence the lack of blogging, and I still have to go to work tomorrow !! Its also my daughters 11th birthday today. Happy Birthday Shannon :O) ....and whilst I have been at work today, my hubby took Shannon and a friend to the Zoo for the day. We are now about to go out for a meal, and Shannons friend is then sleeping over, and going home tomorrow afternoon. When I had finished work I spent 2 and a half hours in the new Asda in our area. Well I say new, its been there about a year and today was the first day that I went in to have a look. I was quite impressed I must say, especially their clothes department !! I treated myself to 2 new tops for £5 each , and a new bikini for £12 , and 3 strappy tops for £3 each. Piccys above. All of which will come in handy for my holiday in 18 days with Karon ..... wooohooooo.... can't believe its only 18 more days !!! :O) .... and Karon has just text me to say the tickets have arrived !! Seems so real now !! Just got to hope the volcano ash from Iceland in the air-space does not interrupt our plans !!!!!!!

I've been pretty good on the ww side of things this week. I lost 2 pounds which Im pleased with. That takes me back to 12st 6lb which is still within my comfort zone. I had the shock of my life the other day after a rather large pasta dish, the very next day I had gone up to 12st 11lb and I nearly died. It sure did give me the kick up the backside that I deserved. So feeling pretty good that Im back to 12st 6lb.
My new shifts at work start from next week. Hopefully all will work out well. It does mean more travelling, more money and a couple of much needed mornings off per week. Tuesdays and Thursdays I will not need to go to work until 2pm so that should be much better.
As I said before, I have work tomorrow morning, and then tomorrow evening we have Karon and Russ coming over for a meal. Im really looking forward to that. Hopefully I won't kill them with my cooking. We are having soup to start, roast beef and all the trimmings for dinner, and several choices for dessert....some are weight watcher friendly, others are not !! This week is full of events....dinner out tonight , entertaning tomorrow night, and Tuesday night a meal out with everyone from the Osteopaths. I don't hold out much hope for next week's weigh in, but as Im learning , each and every week, this is life and life happens. Just enjoy and then clamber on again...... !!!
Good luck for the week ahead guys. Hope you all have a great weekend, and I will blog you all again soon.

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Saturday, 10 April 2010

Positive thinking goes a long way and thank you to.......

Ok, so I gained 5 pounds this week. Not brilliant, I know, but is it the end of the world? NO ! Is it the end of my diet? NO ! Will I gain again in the future? YES ! Will I jump back on that wagon again? YES !!......Right time for positive thinking now, or PMA as I have learned (Positive Mental Attitude). I could sit here and whinge and make all the excuses under the sun for my gain/s recently, but what good will that do? It won't help me lose the weight will it. So I have decided, what is done is done. I cannot change that. In fact I had good fun gaining that 5 pounds, but unless I want it to turn into 5 stone, then I must get that positive frame of mind back that I had for so long.... and yes I can do it !! this nicely leads me on to tell you about two very inspiring people out there that are giving me more help than they realise.......

There are two blogs out there that inspire me so much . The first is written by Joanne, and the second is written by Jackie. I'm not sure you both know this ladies, but its because of you both, that I have learnt a lot this time round with weight watchers. I read your blogs and get so much from them. I have learnt that even if I falter, which inevitably I will over the years, that as long as I pick myself back up straight away, dust myself down and continue with this journey, then I know this time I will not gain back 9 stone like I did the previous time I lost weight with weight watchers. If I constantly keep myself in check every week and become accountable for my actions, then I know I can win this battle. Ive never done this before. I always used to gain the weight and think *oh sod it* and never bothered weighing in again. But I have watched your journeys , and see that we ALL have ups and downs, and that its not the end of the world. We just have to jump back on that wagon again. Thank you ladies for making me realise that I am only human after all, and these things will happen. Your both very inspirational, and you certainly are spurring me on without probably even realising it, and I really appreciate it x

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Thursday, 8 April 2010

self sabotage yet again !!......

Is it really that difficult to stay on track for just one week? Well it is for me right now !! Im nibbling anything that isn't nailed down, munching on chocolate like never before, and to be honest I have had a real *oh sod it* kind of attitude this week ! Why do I do it? I lost 4 lovely pounds last week, and tomorrow I will have put the majority of it, if not all of it back on again..... I am so, so stupid :O/......up and down like a blooming yo-yo is the only way to describe my weight right now. I so long to have that desire back that I had this time last year. Im sat here with a rather large over hanging belly right now which really is not pretty, and considering Ive got to get it out in 3 weeks and bare it to the world on holiday, really is not a nice thought !!! Someone please throw me some willpower ....... x

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Friday, 2 April 2010

Yes !!!! Im a happy Easter bunny :O)

After a very hectic week at work, running round from dawn to dusk between my 2 jobs, it is now Good Friday, and it really is a very Good Friday as I have managed to lose 4 lbs !!!! Back down now to 12st 3 lb. Really pleased with that. I have been 90% good over the past week. I have been thinking carefully about my food choices most of the time, and together with the added stress of work, that 4 lbs is very welcome.......hoooorrraayyy !!
Sorry I have neglected my blog this week. I really just have not had the chance. Like I said, a very hectic week. You may re-call I had a difficult decision to make last weekend, which I have now done. Where I was working 25 hours a week at the Doctors Surgery and 15 hours at the Osteopaths, I am very lucky to have a very understanding boss at the Doctors Surgery as they have allowed me to reduce my hours there, to take up the offer of Practice Manager at the Osteopaths, so at the end of the day, I still have the best of both worlds having both my lovely jobs. I feel very fortunate. Also this new work schedule allows me to have Tuesday and Thursday mornings off which is going to be wonderful....currently I have no time off in the week at all and it has been pretty hard work I can tell you. So decision made, and everyone happy !! (Except my Osteopath boss. He thought I would resign from the doctors completely, but I love it there so dont see why I should !!) haha !!
Other news .....
Its now only 32 days until I go away for my holiday to Zante with Karon.....yippeee :O) ...I cant wait. The thought of laying there doing nothing for a whole week sounds absolutely amazing.....roll on the 4th May !!!! Looking forward to going shopping to get a few holiday bits !! Will probably end up taking far too much stuff with me like usual.... thats ok , I'll make Karon carry the suitcase :O) x
Ok Im going to go and get dressed now, and go to see my Mum. Mum is still much the same as ever. Everytime I see her, she is sitting in her chair in the kitchen, in her dressing gown, doing nothing. Im sure she is seriously depressed. She is on anti-depressants but says all they do is make her tired....I cleaned all her windows for her last Sunday, and I still empty her bins in the kitchen every time Im there and hoover and dust and change her bed. My brothers are still doing NOTHING !! To give you an example, the brother that I have fallen out with big time because he doesn't like criticism, goes to see Mum twice a week, and he sits, drinks tea, eats cake and goes home. Well since I have had the operation on my back 4 weeks ago, I have had to be careful what I do, but Im still trying to do everything. But my brothers still have not offered to do anything. NOTHING !! I have not been able to pull the dustbins out for her once a week for the dustbin men since I had my back done, but guess whats happened...... they have been left !!! Nobody has even bothered to take them out for her. They are both now over-flowing !!!! They are a joke. Also my other brother, that I do get on with, he has been working in the same area as my Mum on another ladies kitchen !!!! What about MUM !!!!!!!!!!! gggrrrrrr........... calm down Tina !!! May even walk the dog over there ! Poor dog doesn't get many walks these days, bless her !! No-one else does that either..... ho hum !!
Ok guys, have a great weekend. Happy Easter to you all. Try not to have too much chocolate...tempting I know :OP ....!! x x

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Friday, 26 March 2010

STS and I love my job's ....oh what a decision :O(

It's been a stressful week this week, and an eventful one !
The scales have stuck at 12st 7 lb this week, so a sts from last week, which Im pleased with. After the disastrous gain of 4 pounds last week, I was not amused to say the least !! I've not been particularly good and I haven't been particularly bad this week, so the result is ok. I seem to be managing this maintaining business extremely well, as I still weigh the same as I did last July !! That would be great if I really was maintaining, but considering I would still love to lose another 2 stone, then I'm really failing miserably right now to lose anymore weight !! However, I am not going above the top line of 12st 7 lb that I have set myself in my mind as being the highest I want to be, so that in itself is some kind of result I suppose. Having said that I am going to try really hard this week and hopefully for the next 5 and a half weeks, as that is when I go on holiday to Zante with the lovely Karon !! If I could manage to lose 7 pounds by then, that would give me a bit of space for *holiday excess* !!
Right, what a week its been on the job front ! Finally, after a lot of thought, I decided to hand my notice in at the Osteopaths, as trying to manage the two jobs was proving to be a bit too much. I love both jobs, so the decision was not easy, but I typed out my notice last Sunday. The reason I decided to leave the Osteopaths, as opposed to the doctors was purely because of the amount of hours I needed, and at the time of typing my notice, I was working 15 hours for the Osteopaths, and 25 hours at the doctors. Feeling slightly relieved at making my decision, although sad too, I go to work as usual at the doctors on Monday, and I have a missed call from my boss at the Osteopaths. Bearing in mind, in my handbag was my written notice to give to him on Tuesday, I ring him back to see what he wanted when I got the opportunity. He was offering me more hours as somebody else had decided to retire !! I was gobsmacked. It was so out of the blue, and I then had to go back to square one and re-think everything. I said to him that I was considering handing in my notice, and he was shocked. He said he wanted to chat to me on the Tuesday. I have now been offered 30 hours work with the Osteopaths. He has given me a pay rise. He has said he will pay me for bank holidays (something which they have never done before), and basically said that I would be running the practice !!!

Why do these things always happen at the same time? I have now had to re-think everything. I love the doctors job, but can I afford to give up this opportunity? The Osteopath hours will fit in better with my children, including flexible hours on Fridays. Looks like Im going to be ripping my notice up for the Osteopaths and writing one out for the doctors now....AAAaaarrrggghhhh !!! I love both jobs , but there simply is not two of me to do them :O( ........ HELP !!!

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