Sorry, but I'm at the end of my tether.
I have so many things going on in my personal life and work life, that I don't know if I can cope anymore. I'm sorry to burden you, I just needed someone to talk to.
I would like to thank you all deeply for those that replied to my last post. I had some lovely responses, and I must say, you are all so wise, I just wish I were like you. But the truth is, I'm not. I'm what they call a shrinking violet, have no self esteem, no value to my life, I don't think I'm worthy of anything. To be honest, 99% of the time I think of myself a a failure. I've always failed. In everything. There is nothing that stands out in my life as success, but my3 beautiful girls. I love my girls to bits, but beyond that ............ nothing.
I told my father in law to f*ck off after my last post. How bloody dare he suggest my hubby of 3 and a half years should take half my house, when I have been in it 20 years. I don't want anything to do with them. They are scum and always will be.
I reluctantly decided to stay put with hubby . Wrong !!! To be honest I feel sorry for him. He has a family that won't take him back, a wife that truly doesn't love him but pretends to. How bad is that? Ok I'm awful. But he said he would go to a solicitor to have the house put in my name, I didn't ask him to, but yet again, I didn't deter him either. He is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo childish. Only Monday night, after deep indepth conversations to stay together, wanting him to grow up, he decided monday night at 9pm to invite me to sit in the garden with him. I said yes. I sat out there, within 5 mins he was chasing round the garden the midgies with a tennis raquet. Fine. We were within our own 4 walls. It was when he decided to walk, bare foot, out of the garden gate to hit the midgies with a tennis raquet to all neighbours hedges, walking up and down the street that I was so embarrassed. I sat there in the garden alone thinking what a big child he is. I honestly know now that I don't love him. Ive tried, but I want a man, a proper man, not a 37 year old kid. I just have to tell him properly now.
As to the weight, thats out the window now , and work is a whole new problem. F*ck it all, thats what I say x
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