Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Feeling glum this week.....

Hi guys.....

Sorry haven't posted much this week. Been feeling really glum this week. My mum's health is deteriorating, and I worry about her so much. She is my best friend, and I love her to bits, but
since Dad died 4 years ago she has been gradually going down hill. She is only 65, but more like 85, her legs are so bad, she walks with a stick, has a poorly heart, and for the last 4-5 weeks has been suffering with a very bad shoulder. She had an x-ray a week ago and is awaiting the results. She lives alone in a one bedroom bungalow, having no-one to talk to for about 20/24 hours a day, and I feel so sorry for her. She has no existence really. Often sits in the same chair in the kitchen, just watching the clock tick by. I try and do so much for her, but are limited because I have to work and have a family and house to look after too. My brothers are a complete waste of space, they either don't notice what needs to be done, or would just rather I get on with it. Im too angry with them to speak to them about it. My sister is one selfish b*tch who only every worries about herself. Not one of them help mum. I just wish I could do so much more for her.... it has all reduced me to tears this week, and somehow haven't felt like coming on here much.... sorry.
As for ww, everythings going according to plan I think. Well still focused although my emotions are all over the place. Have my monthly due any minute also, so thats not helping, but on the whole, still have control over what Im eating . Almost gave in to a kit-kat today which I haven't had since I started ww, I don't even know why I wanted it really....stress, depression, hormones.....but I was strong enough to shut the cupboard and walk away which Im pleased about.
I do hope your all having a happier week than me. Although I havent been in the frame of mind to write about how I'm feeling, I have still been logging on to read your lovely blogs. I do love reading about your adventures, ups and downs, and it's lovely to know your all there so that when I do feel the need to off-load my thoughts..... obviously right now..... then I can rely on you guys just to hear me out, and I thank you for that x

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  1. Awww Tina I'm sorry to read that you're feeling so down. It sounds like you're doing an awful lot for your mum and I'm sure she appreciates it, all you can do is continue to be there for her. It sounds a horrible situation to be in, I know from experience how difficult it can be caring for / being there for a parent after the other dies. Your loyal readers are always here for you and my thoughts and best wishes are with you and your mum.
    I know it probably seems quite small and inconsequential, but well done for sticking with the eating plan during this time.

    Take care,


  2. Sorry to hear about your mom. That sounds like a bad situation for both of you. Hope you won't let it drive you to the kind of "stress" eating that's so easy to fall back into.

  3. Just wanted to send you a big hug. You sound so caring, and it's so sad to see your parents get older - and 65 really isn't that old. I hope you get to enjoy some good times together too.

  4. Tina, you sound so sad. I can understand your concerns though.
    Well done on shutting the door on the kitkat, that took some doing.
    See you Friday hunny. xxx

  5. (((hugs)))

    We lost our mum 2 years ago and it was a similar story - she just didn't really have any joy left in her after dad died. It is so hard seeing them suffer so much and not being able to do anything to help.

    We tried our best and our fondest memory is her 70th birthday where we all spent a great day with her and she was happy and smiling and enjoyed being the centre of attention.

    Anyhoo, that was my way of saying, I really understand - it is a difficult time and you are a lovely kind caring daughter.

    I bet she is proud of what you have achieved, eh?

  6. A (((hug))) from me too. It must be so difficult for you watching your mum, and getting no support from siblings. You sound like an extra special daughter. Well done on recognising and beating the stress eating urge. That takes true strength of mind.

  7. You are such a lovely lot. Thank you all for your lovely words.
    You really seem to understand, and for that I'm grateful. Just got back from mums again, and she has now had the results. She has been diagnosed with osteo-arthritus in her shoulder/back. She is waiting for the doctor to ring her now, to sort out meds, bless her.
    Your right, she really is proud of what I have done. She wanted me to do it as much as I did. For this reason, amongst others, I will not be putting the weight back on.
    Thank you all for your support, it means the world to me. (((hugs))) to all of you xx

  8. Tina,
    My heart goes out to you, it sounds like your famliy are oblivious to your mums plight. Maybe a family meeting is called for. Especially now she has her diagnosis. You could suggest a get together for a meal to brainstorm on how you all as a family could help your mum. Osteo Arthritis can very painful and disabling. If you could gather some information about it and put it too them about working as a team to make her life a little easier, it might work. Some men done realise how bad things can be until it is put right under their noses.

    Hope you don't mind me putting in my tuppence worth. You just sound so sad.

    Big Hugs


  9. Hugs to you, I do know what you are going through, as I went through a similar thing when my Mom was ill (she was at home, but dying from breast cancer).

    My sisters and my father kept their distance for the most part and I was the one sitting with her and helping her and doing things for her. It took me a long time after her death to forgive my family, but I actually learned two things. The first is that everyone deals with things differently, I believe my sisters and especially my father could not deal with seeing my Mum in so much pain so they kept their distance. The second is that after her death, they were filled with regrets for not spending the time with her. I on the other hand did everything I could and I had absolutely no regrets after she died.

    Hang in there, hope your Mom bounces back soon and just take comfort in the fact that you are doing the BEST that you can, which is all you can do.