Tina's journey with ww......

I need a kick please.....

2011-02-24T08:40:00.002Z

It seems that every day I wake up in a really positive frame of mind. I eat a healthy breakfast, usually low fat muller yog or a bowl of half a tin of fruit in juice...what possibly could be wrong with that? ... But then, two hours later, at work,I'm attacking the biscuits with a passion!!?? WHY do I do this ?? .... I also seem to have developed an awful habit of eating at least, I said AT LEAST 3 packets of crisps a day....again, WHY? .... answers on a postcard please!!
I still badly want to lose the weight, so why do I self-sabotage in this way? It just doesn't make any sense..
At last Friday's weigh in, I gained 4lb. This is on top of the 3lb I gained the week before.ok, so I have had a couple of meals out in that time and had my monthly's, but this is half a blooming stone in 2 weeks.....AAAaarrgghhh !! I really need to draw the line ...
Ok to be fair on myself, I have still managed to keep off nearly 6 out of the 7 stone I have lost altogether, and I have been doing this now for nearly 3 years...so I shouldn't really beat myself up....It's just that I know I can do better...I want to get into the 11's again, ...and last Friday I was back to 13st 4lb....I really need to get a grip on this...
I haven't tracked in so long, or been drinking my water like I should. I think it's time to go back to basics...I know what I need to do, I know how to do it....I just need to get on and DO IT !!!
Weigh in day tomorrow... not sure what this is likely to bring, but I shall be back to report.... Today is day 1 of losing weight again..... watch this space x

HELP !!!! .............

2011-02-12T16:36:00.002Z

Someone.... please help me !! I can't stop eating !!!! :O/ ... hormones...gggrrrr....

2011-02-10T12:42:00.002Z

Hi.... Just a flying visit to blog world to catch up with you all....
Feeling full of energy today. Have just taken my lovely little dog for an hours walk in the woods...its beautiful in there and listening to the birds singing is just a brilliant start to the day....
I lost another 2lb last week...total loss this year = 10 lbs !! Happy with that...although I have been rather nibbly this week and a touch worried what the scales will bring tomorrow :o/ ... (pre menstrual stuff...aarrgghh)
Life is brilliant still.... I'm as happy as a pig in mud... I probably look like one after my walk in the damp woods this morning !!!! But hey, do I care?...not a chance!! Happiness is something to grab hold of.....and believe me, I intend to...
Catch you all soon guys xx

update ......

2011-01-30T17:26:00.002Z

Hi all :)

I forgot to post my weight last week on the 21st....I lost another 2 lb taking me to 9lb off this year....over the moon. Back in the 12's ... 12st 12lb to be precise. But alas, this week I gained 1 pound... :O( . I did have 2 meals out though and a visit from mother nature (gggrrr...), so back to 12st 13lb. Hopefully a loss at the scales this coming week....head down and focus !

Hope your all doing ok guys....haven't had much of a chance to look at your blogs, but will be having a nosey in the next few days.

All still good in my world...girls are happy, I'm happy....still mad about my new man....life in general is just great.....

Will catch you all soon guys...xx

go me :O) !!

2011-01-17T23:00:00.002Z

Yay....Go Me !!!

I have now lost 7lbs since the turn of the new year ...whooop whooop !! I mistakenly thought I had lost 6lbs, but silly me cannot count ...derr.....Tina note to oneself......"13st 7lb down to exactly 13st is **7lbs** not 6 !!!!! Idiot :o/ .....I'm in the F4N 11 challenge again this year and reported 6lb off, so if your out there Paul, it was supposed to be 7 !!! I will add that extra pound to this weeks weigh in on Friday if thats easier !!

Feeling so positive right now.....even eating grapefruit for breakfast, and thinking about everything I am eating. Its so good to be back in the driving seat again. It's true that lifes events can change every aspect of your mindset.... the depression I have suffered over the last few years has been lifted, and along with that is my desire to get this blooming weight off again... can life get any better right now ?

Will be back to report this weeks weigh in result on Friday......hope your all feeling positive ....just think everyone, not long til summer now....what a great incentive to get this weight off again !

Catch ya soon xx

2011-01-10T22:28:00.002Z

Hi guys...

Yay ! 4lb off in my first week back. I'm now 13st 3lb. I would say I am about 95% in the zone...had a nibbly day today, but will nip that in the bud tomorrow! Hopefully another loss this week will keep me firmly in the driving seat on the wagon.

Life is still fantastic right now.... all good....very, very good :O) .....

Have a great week guys. Will be back to post again very soon.... x

Happy New Year x

2011-01-02T18:04:00.002Z

Happy New Year everyone.... I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and New Year celebrations, I know for a fact I did.

Back to the diet big time for me today and so far so good. I am feeling totally in control, focused and wanting so badly to get the surplus off that I have gained over the last 3 months.

So I weighed in, albeit reluctantly ! With heavy boots and jeans and fully clothed I weighed 13st 9lbs this morning. I'm thinking that perhaps without the jeans, boots etc I may have got away with 13st 7lb, so that is what I will use as my new year weight.....Not brilliant, but to be honest, I thought it would be more. So watch this space. I am looking forward to those figures dropping, and feeling better in my clothes as the months go by. I am aiming for 12st initially, and will see how I feel when I get there !

Good luck to all those starting afresh....together this journey will be much more fun....and guys, thank you once again for your continued support and lovely comments to my blog when I returned the other day...you are awsome people xx

Hellooooo.....I am back .... properly this time !!!

2010-12-27T12:27:00.004Z

Huge apologies for my absence, and a massive belated Happy Christmas and I wish you all a very happy and healthy New Year....

I have had so many things going on in my life this year. Some good and some bad, but right now, I am happier than I have been in a long, long time. I will fill you in as the weeks go by.

The most amazing thing has happened. I have met a wonderful man called Jim. We met in October and my life has been fulfilled in such a way that I didn't think was possible. I'm unconditionally happy. There are no stresses or dramas, no arguing or moaning, no resentments or unhappiness... We both have 3 children each, and have met each others families....its all soooo good. I will fill you in a bit more as the weeks go by on this gorgeous man that has captured my heart.....I will leave you with a few pics though, so you know who I am talking about.

However, all this happiness has somehow made me slip off the rails big time in the weight department...!! and I am determined to start getting a grip on my weight again now. I have been letting things slide in this department for a few months now, and if I don't jump back on the wagon soon, I am going to regret it big time !! Hence the reason I am back here for all your inspiration that you give to me without even realising it. So thank you bloggers for being here for me to turn through out the good and the bad. Your blogs are still amazing, and this time, I WILL be reporting in with weigh in results each week. I have not even weighed myself in about 6 weeks now. I'm dreading getting on, but I will. I am starting my weight loss journey again on the 2nd January, and I look forward to following you all in the new year.....

I hope you are all as happy as me right now....its good to be back with a smile on my face x Piccys as promised .....

what can I say ?............

2010-10-27T21:37:00.002+01:00

......apart from I'm so sorry. I appear to have been absent for some considerable time.... eeek !!

A lot has been happening, and I've been working so hard too. I'm literally just grabbing a few mins away from the ironing to say hello. I hope you are all doing ok. Have not had chance to read your blogs, but I am determined to get on here at least once a week in the coming weeks.

I have not weighed myself for about 3 weeks now, been slightly off the rails ...!! I will endeavour to put this right... NOW .... before its too late. I will weigh in on Friday, although I am going out for a meal tomorrow night which will not do me any favours the following morning !! However, I need to get a grip now....and the best way I know how to do that is by coming on here and reading your blogs that give me such inspiration.

So although this is short and sweet, I am back, and again.....sorry for being a dreadful blogger lately !!

Catch you soon xx

note to oneself...need to blog more often !!x

2010-09-15T20:14:00.002+01:00

Helloooooo there !! How ya all doing ? Sorry its been a while from me again, so much to say, but yet not finding the time to get on here !!
Things are still going well with my new found freedom. I am enjoying being on my own, I don't have to answer to anyone and I feel so much happier. My girls are happier now too, and that is so important to me. How can one person make everyone else feel so miserable ?? I just don't understand the need to be like that ! But hey, there is rarely a day goes by now without me smiling, laughing, chatting and just generally enjoying life. What a great feeling !!
On the weight front I am being almost saintly....I say almost because I seem to have a great system working for me at the moment. I am 100% good Monday to Friday, and then I have almost anything I want on the weekend. Last week I lost 3 lbs !! I am over the moon with that. I weighed in at 12st 6 lbs...which is only 1 lb away from where I was at the beginning of January, so yay !!! I'm feeling good about that. Just want to try and get back into the 11's again for Christmas (dare I say the C word in September lol!! ) .... I was 11st 12lbs last Christmas Eve, and I would be very happy to be back there again.....so watch this space !!
So what have I been up to? I had a brill night out (what I can remember of it lol) with the lovely Karon on Saturday night. I don't even remember coming home, but Karon assures me we had a good time !!! I went to Gt Yarmouth on Sunday to spend the day with my girls....it was a beautiful warm sunny day. I suppose I had a NSV whilst there...I was forced kicking and screaming onto the roller coaster !!! I did it without need two seats to myself...lol...!!! My bum is obviously a lot smaller now than the last time I went on that about 20 years ago !!!
So how ya all doing? I've been lurking a little just grabbing the odd moment or two on here to browse your blogs, and must say its good to see some people really focused and back in the zone....well done to everyone, as this journey is so hard, and to keep plugging away at it month after month deserves praise, so WELL DONE everyone !!
Its good to have a catch up with you. I'm going off to take my nail varnish off, have a lovely bath and just chill tonight....... the peace is amazing...the girls are on holiday and I have the whole house to myself....bliss !!!
Catch ya all soon my lovies xx

I'm back !!

2010-08-28T14:09:00.002+01:00

So sorry about my lack of blogging recently ! A lot has been going on, all good I may add, and life in general is better than its been in a VERY long time !!!
I had my lovely daughter Kirsty's engagement party to cater for on the 14th August. The party went well and it's good to see her and her fiance Mark really happy. My reservations about this relationship at first due to their age difference, is no longer there. The two of them are besotted with each other, and who am I to say it won't work? Its their lives, and I'm very happy for them, and I wish them every happiness.
After the party, I had my uncle Frank stay for a few days which was lovely. He is such a happy wonderful little Irish man, and its always a pleasure to have him spend time with us. I also had a good girly get together with a couple of friends, one from work and one whom left our work place a year ago. It was soooooo good to spend some time with the pair of them. We polished off several bottles of wine :o) , munched our way through chicken carbonara, and the evening was just brill. So relaxing.
I'm also pleased to say that I am over the moon to be single now. I have not got any intentions of meeting anyone serious yet, just want to spend time with my girls. I now have the house signed over to me, and all in all, I am a very happy bunny. Life really couldn't be much better right now :o)
After my week off, I'm now back to work and busy, busy. My only regret is I haven't been able to spend much time off with my other two girls, Sophie and Shannon. But they are back to school in this coming week...... I cannot believe those 6 weeks have gone already !! ?
On the weight side of things, I have been almost saintly !! My willpower is back 100%. Some days I go over points, but immediately claw them back the next day. I'm so happy to be in the zone again. I am now going to go and have a look at your blogs and see how your all doing and I promise not to go absent again for so long !!
Have a good weekend guys xx

pampering and over indulgence...!! but a great day...

2010-08-12T09:02:00.004+01:00

Had a lovely day yesterday. I won a pamper day for two people at Clarice House in Bury St Edmunds and decided to take along the lovely Karon as a kind of belated 40th birthday prezzie.
We spent the day using the spa, sauna, steam room, swimming pool, had a facial, a manicure, a 3 course lunch...it was heaven !!! :O) . We even ended up dozing by the pool side.....it was the perfect relaxing day. Lunch was fantastic. I started with pork and bacon terrine, served with salad and granary bread...yum....then for mains opted for the Clarice burger which was huge !! This was served with fries...it was soooooo good and drizzled with cheese and bacon...I dread to think how many points were in that !! ...not had a burger that good before !! For pud I opted for an apricot pie with amaretto cream....to die for !! Needless to say, I have not counted the points at all...I was determined just to enjoy the day and worry about the weight later !! But the whole experience was fab and I would definately like to go back again. I'm really glad Karon enjoyed herself .
This however, was not the end of a brill day .... why does everything happen on the same day?
A work colleague from the Doctors Surgery is leaving and going to live in America, so last night was her planned leaving do. I got back from Clarice House about 6.40 and had to be at the meal (yes another meal!!!!) by 7.30 !! I just about made it on time, but to be honest I didn't really need anymore food !! However, some how I managed to divulge deep fried brie in breadcrumbs for starter, and steak and ale pie, mash and veg for mains, but I did pass on dessert... (sigh of relief from my stomach!)...Im still full up now 12 hours later !! But all in all a brill day and night.
Ive now got my daughters engagement party to look forward to Saturday night. Its going to be a busy 48 hours leading up to it, but I'm looking forward to it none the less. Should be a good night.
Not sure if I will step on the scales tomorrow....Ive got a feeling my 3 lb loss from last week is going to be history and a definate GAIN is in order !! Maybe I will be brave and go for it....will let you know how I get on if I do !!

I really must stop worrying what people think....

2010-08-08T18:36:00.006+01:00

Well things are going along quite nicely now. It's been 3 weeks since hubby left, and life is starting to pick up again. I'm feeling positive about things. I'm enjoying being free to do what I want without having to hear moaning from anyone else and my girls seem happier, which is great. And furthermore I've been totally focused on the ww side of things, and I lost a lovely 3 lbs this week !! I haven't had a loss like that for blooming ages, so it was very gratefully received.
I've now got a week off from work !! whoop whoop !! Really need a break from work. I will be busy however, planning and preparing the food for my daughters engagement party next Saturday night. We are catering for about 200 people, so its going to be busy, busy for me !! I am really looking forward to the party. Ive been shopping today looking for something nice to wear. I do have a lovely dress at home, but not sure about it....will have to do a fashion show I think in front of my girls to get their opinions ! Still hate my belly and arms which is what is preventing me from wearing the dress....but we will see. Its about time I started liking myself 6 stone lighter than I was, instead of always picking fault with the way I look.... will I ever learn to just relax and enjoy myself and don't give a monkeys about what other people think I look like ? One day I hope !!

2010-07-28T09:13:00.002+01:00

Would somebody please tell me where the weeks are going? Time is flying by.... I just cannot believe that we are about to enter August already !!!
I've been working very long hours this past two weeks, in some ways this is good. It's bringing in the extra money which I will be needing and it's helping to take my mind off all the other things going on in my life, but the only downside to this extra work is the hours I am away from my girls. Luckily 2 evenings a week they have dinner at their Nans, and 2 evenings a week dinner at their dads, and then one night every weekend they stay at their dads, so I'm quite lucky to have some good support. However, I now find myself with TWO DAYS OFF WORK!!! Me excited, YES !! So plan for today is to take youngest to the dentist, and then head to the shops with both of them. I'm really looking forward to spending some quality time with them.....hopefully go to the pictures today or tomorrow aswell...
On the ww side of things, I have been an angel, apart from last night. My eldest daughter and her now Fiance returned from her holiday in Corfu and decided to come round and spend time with her Mum :O) ... we ended up ordering Chinese, which was heavenly...I haven't had anything naughty in a long time, so I made the most of it !! I haven't dared step on the scales yet this morning, perhaps I will wait for Friday !!!
Hope you all have a great day xx

One week on .....

2010-07-24T18:45:00.002+01:00

Well I have survived the first week since hubby left. One week today he went, and all in all its been a good week. I have not had any moments where I have regretted my decision at all, on the contrary really, even though pretty much he has text me every day to say he is missing me and wants me back. I have stuck to my guns and been strong. I know thats not what I want.
I'm trying to get organised as a single person. Finances are pretty much in order, and to be honest things are not looking as bad in that department as I thought they would be. With having two jobs this really helps, although sometimes I wish I didn't so I could spend more time with my girls during the six week hols. But its not as if they are little. They are capable of amusing themselves for a while !
Housework is proving a little tiring after long days at work, but although I'm pretty much on top of everything, I may rope in some additional help from the girls while they are on holiday ! They don't know it yet !!
Emotionally I feel happier than I have done for a long time. My lovely friend Karon came over Thursday night for a lovely natter and a cuppa. I think she could see a difference in me already! We talked for a few hours and had a giggle which was nice. If my hubby had of been there he would have moaned about someone coming over mid-week when he needed to get sleep before work, but now I can please myself!
On top of all of this, I am 100% focused on the ww front. In fact I have lost 2lbs !!! Im now 12st 11 lbs . Over the moon with that. I'm looking forward to getting the next 13 pounds off to be back to where I was before Christmas. I really feel in the zone again....hoooray !!
So all in all a good week ! Thank you all again for your lovely comments on my last post. You really are such lovely people, and I really appreciate it.
I noticed this week that I have reached 100 followers of my blog !! Wow that is amazing ! I'm honoured and touched to think people want to know about me, especially when I have been down a lot lately. But thank you, each and every one of you, thank you for taking the time to follow me. It truly means a lot xxxxxx

Its finally over .......

2010-07-18T17:45:00.002+01:00

After all these months of uncertainty, hubby has now finally left. He left yesterday. There have been tears, lots of tears, from both him and me. Although I dont hate him, or dislike him, I know I couldn't have carried on another month, let alone another 25 years with him. It would of been easier if I hated him. Instead of the tears there would have been anger, but no. I truly wish him happiness in the future. Its going to be a struggle financially for me, but I'm prepared for that. I dont know how I feel emotionally. Its odd not having him here, its strange not having someone to chat too like now for example when the kids are out. Its strange to have the bed to myself, its strange not to hear him moaning ...... there is a kind of peace in the air, a feeling of freedom......a fresh new life is just beginning for me....one of independence, and thats what I want x

light at the end of the tunnel.....

2010-07-10T17:17:00.002+01:00

.... this picture seems to sum it all up to me right now.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. All the crap I'm going through right now will
all be a distant memory in a few months time. And at the end of the tunnel
I believe that there will be something better for me, something more worthwhile, something worth waiting for. I dont know what and I don't know when, but I have to believe things will be better.
I've now told hubby its over. I've urged him to look for another place, and he has
an appointment booked to look at a house on Tuesday at 5.30. I've opened up a
new bank account in just my name to have all my direct debits transferred and
to close our joint account. I'm already feeling better by starting these little steps
to happiness and I'm feeling more positive already. Furthermore, I have been brilliant this week with the weight ! I'm back in the 12's, and thats closer to where I want to be....
Whatever the coming months will bring, I'm ready for it. The ups the downs, and eventually a new life that I am fully in control of....

Thank you for your support guys over the last couple of weeks, you help more than you know x

A heartfelt thank you x

2010-07-05T22:27:00.002+01:00

I just want to say a huge thank you to the lovely people that replied to my last blog. Your kind words bought tears to my eyes. You really are a great bunch of people, and your wise words have helped me along in the next step of my journey....
After a couple more incidents this weekend, with my 37 year old child (husband) , I know now that its most definately over. By the end of summer I hope for everything to be sorted. Houses and possessions are only material goods, my heart deserves more happiness than this.
Thank you all so much for your lovely words. Your all wonderful x x

Hello bloggers, sorry, but I think I need your advice - falling apart

2010-06-30T23:43:00.002+01:00

Hi guys,

Sorry, but I'm at the end of my tether.
I have so many things going on in my personal life and work life, that I don't know if I can cope anymore. I'm sorry to burden you, I just needed someone to talk to.

I would like to thank you all deeply for those that replied to my last post. I had some lovely responses, and I must say, you are all so wise, I just wish I were like you. But the truth is, I'm not. I'm what they call a shrinking violet, have no self esteem, no value to my life, I don't think I'm worthy of anything. To be honest, 99% of the time I think of myself a a failure. I've always failed. In everything. There is nothing that stands out in my life as success, but my3 beautiful girls. I love my girls to bits, but beyond that ............ nothing.

I told my father in law to f*ck off after my last post. How bloody dare he suggest my hubby of 3 and a half years should take half my house, when I have been in it 20 years. I don't want anything to do with them. They are scum and always will be.

I reluctantly decided to stay put with hubby . Wrong !!! To be honest I feel sorry for him. He has a family that won't take him back, a wife that truly doesn't love him but pretends to. How bad is that? Ok I'm awful. But he said he would go to a solicitor to have the house put in my name, I didn't ask him to, but yet again, I didn't deter him either. He is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo childish. Only Monday night, after deep indepth conversations to stay together, wanting him to grow up, he decided monday night at 9pm to invite me to sit in the garden with him. I said yes. I sat out there, within 5 mins he was chasing round the garden the midgies with a tennis raquet. Fine. We were within our own 4 walls. It was when he decided to walk, bare foot, out of the garden gate to hit the midgies with a tennis raquet to all neighbours hedges, walking up and down the street that I was so embarrassed. I sat there in the garden alone thinking what a big child he is. I honestly know now that I don't love him. Ive tried, but I want a man, a proper man, not a 37 year old kid. I just have to tell him properly now.

As to the weight, thats out the window now , and work is a whole new problem. F*ck it all, thats what I say x

new beginnings .....

2010-06-17T11:37:00.003+01:00

I don't often talk about my relationship with my hubby. Not much to say really.
I haven't been happy for a long while with him, for many reasons. He does not get on with my youngest daughter at all, which is a real strain. They are always arguing. It feels that each of them is competing for my attention, which is hard when Im doing such weird hours at work. I get exhausted listening to them pick on each other to be honest.
My hubby is also very childish. When I met him, he was still living with his mum and dad. This is 4 and a half years ago, and he is now 37. He has never had to start from scratch creating a home. He has never even bought a piece of furniture. In fact it has all been laid on a plate for him since he started living with me 4 years ago. I have lived in my home for 20 years, and bought and paid for everything. Ok, he does contribute towards all the bills, but I work blooming hard to pay my half too. But now, we have decided to split up. We have nothing in common, and although I dont hate him or dislike him, I have decided to end our relationship.
I have never liked his family, as you may remember from previous posts, but I really have tried to get on with them. Tried even helping them to decorate, had them over for meals, and yet not one word of thanks. They are all from a different world that I was bought up in, but now, I just want out of it....
Bearing in mind Ive lived here 20 years, and it is the roof over my childrens heads, and I have paid for everything in it, my disgusting horrible father-in-law has told my other half to *take me for half the house* ... !! He has only lived here for 4 flipping years after leaving mummy and daddys filthy disgusting nest .... believe me, they have never ever worked hard to make things nice. Their place is disgusting, and yet, now, because I want to end the relationship, I could now lose everything. Life is the pits at times ..........

2010-06-13T22:09:00.000+01:00

How do you tell someone you don't love them anymore ?

another weigh in .....

2010-06-12T22:17:00.002+01:00

Another weigh in and another pound gained ... hhhrrmmpphhh !! Back to 12st 13 lbs again :o( .... but TOTM did arrive 2 days before weigh in, so who knows what it would have been if mother nature hadn't of reared her head again. Oh well onwards to the next week..... having said that my mum has just treated hubby and I to an Indian meal, which was absolutely gorgeous and I feel totally stuffed !! I haven't had Indian food in over 2 years, so I don't feel too guilty !! However, its a good job its another 6 days til weigh in !
Its been a busy old week again. Busy, but good. I feel something is about to happen on the house front. We are changing estate agents now to a local firm now, and feel convinced that this should get us sold in the very near future. I think the mistake we made was to advertise with a company from out of the area. Hopefully after the 22nd when the contract ends, we can make a fresh start and get moving soon. We have been to view several places recently, all rather nice, so just hoping they dont get snapped up before we get sold ! Would dearly love to get moved and settled before the end of the year, so fingers crossed.
A lot has been happening at work and Im enjoying both my jobs right now, and feel very fortunate. To have 2 jobs and enjoy them both is brill. I never thought I would see the day where getting up for work was a pleasure , rather than a chore. The new challenge of Practice Manager is going well, so long may it continue.
I haven't been out at all lately though, so feel that needs to change. Darts has stopped for me at the moment, but the ladies of the darts team are having a get together tomorrow afternoon. Think I may join them for a glass of wine ...sounds like a good plan to me :o) ...
So all in all things are good. Positivity on the weight side is pretty high, but I have noticed my tracking is a bit hit and miss at the moment. Im guessing points and not always writing things down, so this week that is my aim, to make sure I track everything. Im still drinking my water, and eating healthily during the week, so who knows, I may even lose some weight this week ....
Ok guys, so its over and out from me now. Keep blogging, I love reading them, and hope you all have a good week. TTFN xx

Angel or Devil ......

2010-06-08T21:56:00.004+01:00

Half way through the week ..... Angel or Devil ? ..... truthful 75% Angel ... 25% Devil ..... will it be enough to swing a loss on Friday ? . .... mmmmmmmmmm......x

determination, trainers and Christmas !!

2010-06-06T22:12:00.003+01:00

Hi Guys

Yet another week has passed since I last wrote my blog, and I simply cannot believe how fast this year is going. The weeks are all blending into one and to think that we are only 2 weeks away from the longest day of the year, and then the nights start drawing in again is quite a frightening thought !! Before we know it, the *C* word will be on the cards, and that brings me to my next focus on my weight loss journey.
Now I'm sorry to be talking about the *C* word in June, but I'm going to aim to be back in the 11's before the tinsel is out and christmas crackers are pulled !!
I had a STS this week. Im 12st 12 lbs. Last Christmas I weighed 11st 12 lbs, so I have gained a stone in 6 months, and Im determined not to gain another pound more. My new enthusiasm has seen me take to my trainers today to do a fast 2 mile walk first thing this morning, and Ive eaten like an angel. I WILL see a loss on the scales this week. My water bottle is ready, there is fresh salad in the fridge, and there are no more excuses. To help me focus, I am going to photograph my weigh ins (if I remember !!) every Friday morning to help keep me accountable. As I dont get weighed at class, I think I need you guys watching my weigh ins so that you can all keep me in check. Hope you don't mind. If you see the scales going up, please feel free to give me a very stern kick up the **** !!!!
Thanks guys x x x

my week ..........

2010-05-31T09:21:00.003+01:00

Having had a brilliant healthy week, I felt terrific. Eating healthily, exercising , tracking and drinking water ... me ? Yes, totally for a whole week !!!! It made me feel great, but you can guess how I felt when Friday came, time to get weighed and I see a one pound GAIN looking back at me !!!!! What ??! How can that be? This weight loss malarkey can be so cruel sometimes ......
But hey, Im determined. Im not going to let that beat me. Although, however, my halo has slipped slightly with having fish and chips on Friday and a mammoth BBQ yesterday, and also my boss at work has started to get into the habit of buying lunch for me last Thursday and Friday. They were healthy lunches, but none the less, must nip that in the bud. His selections have been rice and pasta, and both hold water so maybe I will just ask for a salad if he does it again this week, bless him. Don't want to go hurting his feelings, or he won't do it again, and its about time he appreciated me !!! Anyway, claw back has begun today and Im determined to get a loss at the scales this week.
Life in general still hectic, but right now Im loving it. I had a massive clean out in my daughters bedroom this week. Ive never seen so much rubbish !! But I decided it had to be done. 3 black bin bags later and her bedroom can now be called a bedroom instead of the local dump. Just got to do the other daughters bedroom today, and that will make me feel better. Yes I know they should do it themselves, but they are sooooooo lazy and they never do it properly anyway, so I may aswell do it.
My house is still up for sale. Its been on the market nearly 6 months now and Im getting fed up. Ive been to look at 2, 3 bedroomed bungalows on Saturday and we have another one to view today, but why oh why won't someone buy mine :O( .... its not a bad house, in fact its a lovely house. Ive done so much work in here, but I just feel its time to move after 20 years. I need a fresh start. So cleaning out the clutter now, hopefully will save me some work when and if we get someone interested enough to make an offer. We have only had one offer in all that time, although plenty of people looking round, but I can now see why they say selling a house can be one of the most stressful things people do !! Fingers crossed now that we have dropped the price a bit, that someone may come very soon and buy it !
Anyway, on a scale of one to ten for life right now.....Im going to give it an 8 . Like I said, its hectic, but good. All I need now is to move and lose this weight and I will be happy !
Anyway take care guys. Still love reading your blogs . Catch ya soon x

ho hum ........

2010-05-25T12:06:00.002+01:00

Isn't it weird how life can be . Before my holiday I was struggling like crazy with my weight, having gone up and down like a yo-yo for a year. But now, I have my desire back..... the will power is here and Im doing everything by the book and back to basics. I haven't felt this positive for ages, and its good to get it back. So why is it, that a sneaky peek is showing a gain !!!!!! aaaarrrggghhhhh..... ok, ok, I know I shouldn't sneaky peek, but thats the only way I know how to stay focused, and yes I know I still have until Friday to properly weigh in, but how utterly gutting. And to top it off Im having a *FAT* day ... I feel HUGE !!!! Is it any wonder that people give in ? Luckily my positive frame of mind is going to just think of this as a temporary blip, and look forward to seeing a LOSS on Friday.....or else !! x

Ive found my willpower again !!

2010-05-21T20:19:00.003+01:00

Yay !!! 3 pounds off for me this week. Back to 12 st 11 pounds. I'm really pleased with this. To have been able to get straight back on track after my holiday is all new to me. In the past a gain of 8 pounds would have meant throwing in the towel and saying sod it. But not this time. I had started to feel uncomfortable in my clothes, started noticing the extra bulges on my tummy and realising that I didn't feel or look as good as I could. I felt sluggish and tired and I don't want to be going down this road again. Its amazing what I have learnt this time round. Im learning to read my body language, and right now my body is saying .... be good, get back on track, you want to feel and look good don't you? And yes, I do. I want that more than anything and furthermore, I want to be healthy !!! More than ever in my life before, I am now listening to the signals that my body wants to be looked after, and I owe it that after 41 years, surely !!
So Ive started tracking again (which I havent done properly for about a month) , Ive started drinking as much water as I can, and Im eating fresh and healthy food. Long may this continue. Ive faffed about for the last 10 months, in fact, I still weigh the same as I did in July 09. I suppose the good thing in that is I haven't gained more, so thats a mini achievement I suppose ! But now that I seem to have found my willpower again, Im gonna hold onto it as tight as I can x

back from holiday .......

2010-05-15T19:31:00.024+01:00

Well the long awaited holiday has now been and gone, and what a wonderful holiday it was. I have come home re-freshed and relaxed after a lovely week in the warm sunshine.

I have a lovely sun-tan, some brilliant memories and some great pictures. I also have a lovely friend with whom I shared this holiday, and I want to say thank you Karon for helping to make it a great week. We had a lot of giggles, too much food, and the odd cocktail or three !!! Ive got some brilliant memories which will stay with me always. I even managed to see turtles swimming in the sea.... how awsome was that !!

The downside to coming home is I have come home to a rather large gain at the scales. The Friday before I went (2 weeks ago) I weighed 12st 6 lbs. Yesterday, Friday, I weighed in at 13 stone exactly. I think I came off lightly with an 8 pound gain because on Wednesday morning it was showing 13 stone 7 which when I saw that I nearly fell through the floor !!! I think a lot of activity on the loo managed to throw those extra 7 pounds off straight away thank goodness !! So needless to say, Im back with avengance !! Im going to lose this weight. Im going to get back to where I was before Christmas (11st 12 lb), I am going to stick with this. Yes I enjoyed every single bite on holiday. The food was delicious, but its now time to knuckle down and get serious. I want this next 2 stone off before Christmas, so watch this space !!

Hope your all keeping well guys.... I will leave you all with a few piccys of our fabulous holiday...... and I look forward to the next one x please watch our nutty video below.... it makes me laugh every time I see it x

HOLIDAY !!!!! Zante tomorrow :o)))) x x

2010-05-03T23:05:00.002+01:00

Hi guys .... just wanted to say hello and goodbye quickly before Karon and I go on our holiday tomorrow to Zante !!! to say Im excited is an understatement !! The suitcase has been packed and unpacked a thousand times, but now, its finally done. Tomorrow lunchtime we take off. Im looking forward to doing nothing for a week !! The only exercise I want is to raise my hand to my mouthwith a cocktail in it !!! I will do it several times, so perhaps that will be exercise of some sort !!
Hope you guys are all well. I promise several piccys for when we come home. TTFN :o))) x x x

Im impressed !.....

2010-04-25T09:57:00.003+01:00

Well considering I wasn't holding out much hope for WI this week, as social events coming thick and fast, I must say I am very impressed to have lost 1 pound !!
Last Friday (16th) was my daughters birthday and we went for a meal that evening which was my last weigh in day prior to this one just gone. I opted for cod and chips, I just had an urge to have cod and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Then on the Saturday (17th) we had the lovely Karon and her partner Russ come round for dinner. For starters we had leek and potato soup, with warm baguettes. For mains we had roast beef , yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes, boiled potatoes, green beans, swede, peas, carrots, and gravy. Then for dessert there were several ww options available and also a fresh fruit salad, but we were rather naughty and opted for strawberry gateaux !! Yummmmmm.... . Then on Tuesday I went for a meal with the Osteopaths and receptionists where I work as someone was retiring. The meal was delicious. I had salad lyonnaise which basically was poached egg on salad leaves with bacon bits and garlic croutons. For mains I opted for chicken breast topped with a sliced tomato and a sprinkling of cheese and it was all laying on dolphinoise potatoes. And for dessert I shared a mint chocolate cheesecake and an amaretto mousse ....absolutely devine !!! The evening was lovely. So to have lost a pound after all of this, Im very happy with that. That takes me back down to 12st 5 lb. That is two losses in a row now, could I possibly make it 3 I wonder ?
Yesterday was lovely. Karon and I went last minute holiday shopping !! We went to Matalan and spent 3 hrs .... yes I said 3 HRS in there !! Retail therapy is sooooooooo good for you, I must do it again soon !! I spent too much, but I did end up buying some lovely things for the holiday. I think Karon was very impressed as she had never been to Matalan before. Looking forward to next time :O)....

Last night I was out again with my friends Tracy and Georgina. We went to a charity darts night, and had such a giggle. We had to get paired up with a member of the opposite sex. Our names were pulled out of a box and I ended up with a nice man called Andy ;O) , and Im delighted to say we got into the FINAL !!!! Yay !!! Unfortunately we didn't win the final, but were presented with a prezzy, and had a great time. I came home at nearly 1 o clock in the morning with armfulls of raffle prizes. Tin of roses chocolates, bottle of Amaretto, Bottle of wine, Box of crackers for cheese, smellies ....the list goes on !! A great night was had by all !! Im sooooooo loving my social life right now. It couldn't be better ! Never have I had a social life as busy as this, and its brill.

Well its 9 days now til my holiday in Zante with Karon...to say I am excited is putting it mildly... I can't wait !!! I am sooooo ready to be lazing around doing absolutely nothing on a sunbed in the heat with an Ouzo in my hand !!! Roll on 4th May :o) ....

Well thats enough from me now. Have a good day guys. Catch ya all soon ...... X

2010-04-23T02:51:00.003+01:00

Its 2am in the morning, and yet again, I can't sleep. Im shattered, but I have so much on my mind with work, that I either can't sleep or when I do sleep, I end up dreaming about work !!! AAarrrggghhhh !!!

My boss is really piling on the pressure now. Its rediculous !!!! I only have one pair of hands for bleep's sake !!!! Since the practice manager resigned in February, I have been given the work that she was doing, without the title, and to add insult to injury, I have to do the said tasks within my reception shifts and its all getting too much. He is saving himself a mint ! Where as he was paying two people to do the job, muggings here is doing it all for the price of one !! Why am I such an idiot ??? !!!!!!! GGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........................ Sorry, rant over !!

Not only this, I have been back to the nurse for my dressing to be changed on my back, and its refusing to heal properly now. Its got a lot of discharge coming out and now needs to be packed again !! Im fed up :O( ........

2010-04-16T17:52:00.004+01:00

What a busy week and its still not finished ! Ive been working my long shifts all week, hence the lack of blogging, and I still have to go to work tomorrow !! Its also my daughters 11th birthday today. Happy Birthday Shannon :O) ....and whilst I have been at work today, my hubby took Shannon and a friend to the Zoo for the day. We are now about to go out for a meal, and Shannons friend is then sleeping over, and going home tomorrow afternoon. When I had finished work I spent 2 and a half hours in the new Asda in our area. Well I say new, its been there about a year and today was the first day that I went in to have a look. I was quite impressed I must say, especially their clothes department !! I treated myself to 2 new tops for £5 each , and a new bikini for £12 , and 3 strappy tops for £3 each. Piccys above. All of which will come in handy for my holiday in 18 days with Karon ..... wooohooooo.... can't believe its only 18 more days !!! :O) .... and Karon has just text me to say the tickets have arrived !! Seems so real now !! Just got to hope the volcano ash from Iceland in the air-space does not interrupt our plans !!!!!!!

I've been pretty good on the ww side of things this week. I lost 2 pounds which Im pleased with. That takes me back to 12st 6lb which is still within my comfort zone. I had the shock of my life the other day after a rather large pasta dish, the very next day I had gone up to 12st 11lb and I nearly died. It sure did give me the kick up the backside that I deserved. So feeling pretty good that Im back to 12st 6lb.

My new shifts at work start from next week. Hopefully all will work out well. It does mean more travelling, more money and a couple of much needed mornings off per week. Tuesdays and Thursdays I will not need to go to work until 2pm so that should be much better.

As I said before, I have work tomorrow morning, and then tomorrow evening we have Karon and Russ coming over for a meal. Im really looking forward to that. Hopefully I won't kill them with my cooking. We are having soup to start, roast beef and all the trimmings for dinner, and several choices for dessert....some are weight watcher friendly, others are not !! This week is full of events....dinner out tonight , entertaning tomorrow night, and Tuesday night a meal out with everyone from the Osteopaths. I don't hold out much hope for next week's weigh in, but as Im learning , each and every week, this is life and life happens. Just enjoy and then clamber on again...... !!!

Good luck for the week ahead guys. Hope you all have a great weekend, and I will blog you all again soon.

TTFN x

Positive thinking goes a long way and thank you to.......

2010-04-10T08:46:00.007+01:00

Ok, so I gained 5 pounds this week. Not brilliant, I know, but is it the end of the world? NO ! Is it the end of my diet? NO ! Will I gain again in the future? YES ! Will I jump back on that wagon again? YES !!......Right time for positive thinking now, or PMA as I have learned (Positive Mental Attitude). I could sit here and whinge and make all the excuses under the sun for my gain/s recently, but what good will that do? It won't help me lose the weight will it. So I have decided, what is done is done. I cannot change that. In fact I had good fun gaining that 5 pounds, but unless I want it to turn into 5 stone, then I must get that positive frame of mind back that I had for so long.... and yes I can do it !! this nicely leads me on to tell you about two very inspiring people out there that are giving me more help than they realise.......

There are two blogs out there that inspire me so much . The first is http://jomsjourney.blogspot.com/ written by Joanne, and the second is http://shrinking-thinking.blogspot.com written by Jackie. I'm not sure you both know this ladies, but its because of you both, that I have learnt a lot this time round with weight watchers. I read your blogs and get so much from them. I have learnt that even if I falter, which inevitably I will over the years, that as long as I pick myself back up straight away, dust myself down and continue with this journey, then I know this time I will not gain back 9 stone like I did the previous time I lost weight with weight watchers. If I constantly keep myself in check every week and become accountable for my actions, then I know I can win this battle. Ive never done this before. I always used to gain the weight and think *oh sod it* and never bothered weighing in again. But I have watched your journeys , and see that we ALL have ups and downs, and that its not the end of the world. We just have to jump back on that wagon again. Thank you ladies for making me realise that I am only human after all, and these things will happen. Your both very inspirational, and you certainly are spurring me on without probably even realising it, and I really appreciate it x

self sabotage yet again !!......

2010-04-08T17:28:00.002+01:00

Is it really that difficult to stay on track for just one week? Well it is for me right now !! Im nibbling anything that isn't nailed down, munching on chocolate like never before, and to be honest I have had a real *oh sod it* kind of attitude this week ! Why do I do it? I lost 4 lovely pounds last week, and tomorrow I will have put the majority of it, if not all of it back on again..... I am so, so stupid :O/......up and down like a blooming yo-yo is the only way to describe my weight right now. I so long to have that desire back that I had this time last year. Im sat here with a rather large over hanging belly right now which really is not pretty, and considering Ive got to get it out in 3 weeks and bare it to the world on holiday, really is not a nice thought !!! Someone please throw me some willpower ....... x

Yes !!!! Im a happy Easter bunny :O)

2010-04-02T08:28:00.002+01:00

After a very hectic week at work, running round from dawn to dusk between my 2 jobs, it is now Good Friday, and it really is a very Good Friday as I have managed to lose 4 lbs !!!! Back down now to 12st 3 lb. Really pleased with that. I have been 90% good over the past week. I have been thinking carefully about my food choices most of the time, and together with the added stress of work, that 4 lbs is very welcome.......hoooorrraayyy !!
Sorry I have neglected my blog this week. I really just have not had the chance. Like I said, a very hectic week. You may re-call I had a difficult decision to make last weekend, which I have now done. Where I was working 25 hours a week at the Doctors Surgery and 15 hours at the Osteopaths, I am very lucky to have a very understanding boss at the Doctors Surgery as they have allowed me to reduce my hours there, to take up the offer of Practice Manager at the Osteopaths, so at the end of the day, I still have the best of both worlds having both my lovely jobs. I feel very fortunate. Also this new work schedule allows me to have Tuesday and Thursday mornings off which is going to be wonderful....currently I have no time off in the week at all and it has been pretty hard work I can tell you. So decision made, and everyone happy !! (Except my Osteopath boss. He thought I would resign from the doctors completely, but I love it there so dont see why I should !!) haha !!
Other news .....
Its now only 32 days until I go away for my holiday to Zante with Karon.....yippeee :O) ...I cant wait. The thought of laying there doing nothing for a whole week sounds absolutely amazing.....roll on the 4th May !!!! Looking forward to going shopping to get a few holiday bits !! Will probably end up taking far too much stuff with me like usual.... thats ok , I'll make Karon carry the suitcase :O) ..lol x
Ok Im going to go and get dressed now, and go to see my Mum. Mum is still much the same as ever. Everytime I see her, she is sitting in her chair in the kitchen, in her dressing gown, doing nothing. Im sure she is seriously depressed. She is on anti-depressants but says all they do is make her tired....I cleaned all her windows for her last Sunday, and I still empty her bins in the kitchen every time Im there and hoover and dust and change her bed. My brothers are still doing NOTHING !! To give you an example, the brother that I have fallen out with big time because he doesn't like criticism, goes to see Mum twice a week, and he sits, drinks tea, eats cake and goes home. Well since I have had the operation on my back 4 weeks ago, I have had to be careful what I do, but Im still trying to do everything. But my brothers still have not offered to do anything. NOTHING !! I have not been able to pull the dustbins out for her once a week for the dustbin men since I had my back done, but guess whats happened...... they have been left !!! Nobody has even bothered to take them out for her. They are both now over-flowing !!!! They are a joke. Also my other brother, that I do get on with, he has been working in the same area as my Mum on another ladies kitchen !!!! What about MUM !!!!!!!!!!! gggrrrrrr........... calm down Tina !!! May even walk the dog over there ! Poor dog doesn't get many walks these days, bless her !! No-one else does that either..... ho hum !!
Ok guys, have a great weekend. Happy Easter to you all. Try not to have too much chocolate...tempting I know :OP ....!! x x

STS and I love my job's ....oh what a decision :O(

2010-03-26T20:09:00.003Z

It's been a stressful week this week, and an eventful one !
The scales have stuck at 12st 7 lb this week, so a sts from last week, which Im pleased with. After the disastrous gain of 4 pounds last week, I was not amused to say the least !! I've not been particularly good and I haven't been particularly bad this week, so the result is ok. I seem to be managing this maintaining business extremely well, as I still weigh the same as I did last July !! That would be great if I really was maintaining, but considering I would still love to lose another 2 stone, then I'm really failing miserably right now to lose anymore weight !! However, I am not going above the top line of 12st 7 lb that I have set myself in my mind as being the highest I want to be, so that in itself is some kind of result I suppose. Having said that I am going to try really hard this week and hopefully for the next 5 and a half weeks, as that is when I go on holiday to Zante with the lovely Karon !! If I could manage to lose 7 pounds by then, that would give me a bit of space for *holiday excess* !!
Right, what a week its been on the job front ! Finally, after a lot of thought, I decided to hand my notice in at the Osteopaths, as trying to manage the two jobs was proving to be a bit too much. I love both jobs, so the decision was not easy, but I typed out my notice last Sunday. The reason I decided to leave the Osteopaths, as opposed to the doctors was purely because of the amount of hours I needed, and at the time of typing my notice, I was working 15 hours for the Osteopaths, and 25 hours at the doctors. Feeling slightly relieved at making my decision, although sad too, I go to work as usual at the doctors on Monday, and I have a missed call from my boss at the Osteopaths. Bearing in mind, in my handbag was my written notice to give to him on Tuesday, I ring him back to see what he wanted when I got the opportunity. He was offering me more hours as somebody else had decided to retire !! I was gobsmacked. It was so out of the blue, and I then had to go back to square one and re-think everything. I said to him that I was considering handing in my notice, and he was shocked. He said he wanted to chat to me on the Tuesday. I have now been offered 30 hours work with the Osteopaths. He has given me a pay rise. He has said he will pay me for bank holidays (something which they have never done before), and basically said that I would be running the practice !!!

Why do these things always happen at the same time? I have now had to re-think everything. I love the doctors job, but can I afford to give up this opportunity? The Osteopath hours will fit in better with my children, including flexible hours on Fridays. Looks like Im going to be ripping my notice up for the Osteopaths and writing one out for the doctors now....AAAaaarrrggghhhh !!! I love both jobs , but there simply is not two of me to do them :O( ........ HELP !!!

struggling.....

2010-03-21T17:26:00.003Z

Another weekend, and yet again I'm over points by about 12. I really seem to be struggling at the moment. I have 2 or 3 angelic days, and 3 or 4 BAD days each week, and its really starting to get me down. Why am I finding this so difficult right now? I'm eating things that I know are so bad for me, but I just dont seem to be able to say no. Even my mum is not helping !! Took her food shopping yesterday, and when we got back she gave me two crusty rolls with lashings of butter on, ham and turkey, and 2 fresh cream cakes to follow ! This time last year I would have refused, but now my willpower seems to be right out the window. I did feel so bad after I ate it though, that I had a 0 point salad for dinner and went for a 40 minute walk, but that's just a little like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted. What am I going to do ...ggggrrrrrrrrrrr........ swift kick up backside I think !

Am I being unreasonable ?.....

2010-03-19T14:19:00.002Z

Opinions please guys....

I have just read on facebook that my eldest daughter Kirsty (19) is trying for a baby with her partner that she has been with since November. Sorry if Im being a tad sensitive here, but wouldn't it have been nice to hear it face to face rather than splashed across facebook? I feel sad. I feel like Im the last to know anything.

Kirsty lives at her Dads house which is just around the corner from me, literally about 200 yds away. We had a lot of fallings out when she was 17 and she decided to live with him. Since then, I thought we were getting on great. We see each other a couple of times a week, we met up at a night-club in December, we went for a meal only on Mothers Day with her new man, but yet I have to find this rather big bit of news out on facebook !

When she met this chap, I was rather concerned. He is 37, has two children of 12 and 14, and bearing in mind my daughter only turned 19 only 3 weeks ago, (she was 18 when they met), I think I was right to be concerned. However, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, invited him round and he seems very nice. But now this ? Surely, as he is almost my age , wouldn't he see that blasting this over facebook instead of perhaps just mentioning it over a cuppa with me , would have been nicer....

Am I right to feel hurt ? Or am I over-reacting ?..... I wonder if they would tell me when the baby is born, or would I have to find that out on facebook aswell !!!

KIDS !!

Back to work ....

2010-03-18T17:31:00.002Z

......in more ways than one !
After having 11 days off work with my huge infected cyst on my back, then operation to remove it, and having a 6cm deep hole in my back, and having to have it dressed twice a week for at least the next 3 weeks, I have decided to return to work tomorrow. I work as a doctor's receptionist, and anyone who knows what a doctors surgery is like on a Monday morning, I felt it would be wise to ease in gently on a Friday morning, instead of mad-Monday ! After all, I have only been working there for 2 months, and have probably forgotten everything I was taught anyway !!
Before the op, I was running around like a mad thing between my two jobs, working literally from 8.30 in the morning, then a couple of hours in the middle for lunch and then off to my second job until 8.00pm. (I also work as an Osteopath's receptionist too), but now I'm finding it hard enough to find the enthusiasm to do the one job, let alone two ! So right now, feeling very tired, and wishing I didn't have to go.......
Diet wise = 4 bad days = 3 good days === massive gain for tomorrows weigh in. Sneaky peak looking DISASTROUS !!! So back to work in this respect too.

Not feeling to chirpy right now .....

Spring has sprung !!...............

2010-03-16T09:24:00.002Z

Its an absolutely gorgeous sunny morning this morning, and has got me in the mood for spring cleaning. I want to clean everything, sort cupboards out, re-vamp my wardrobe, and throw old things out !!
My bedroom is the focus for my attack, and in fact the whole room needs decorating ! I already have a brand new carpet for the room, which never got put down last autumn, and has been left rolled up in the shed covered in plastic. The room needs painting too.... so much to do!! The house is up for sale so don't want to pay too much to have it done, so looks like a trip to homebase for some cheap paint, just to give it a new lease of life. Its probably the worst room in the house and hasn't been done for years..... the only trouble is....Im still signed off work with my dodgey hole in my back, and hubby hates decorating !! Anyone out there a keen decorator... lol :O)

Looking forward to tomorrow. My new furniture arrives for the front room. A 4 seater settee and a 2 seater settee ....nearly had a panic attack on the weekend. We looked the suite up on the DFS website just to check the dimensions, and we found out that it is rather larger than we thought ! Needless to say, we have now had to change the room around, and we still havent finished. I have to abandon my lovely computer table as it is far too big and just will not fit with the new settees in the room, so that is being banished to my daughter,s bedroom to be used as a dressing table. My computer is now sitting on the telephone table in the front room and its rather small to say the least !! Oh well , needs must and all that. Note to self... the next time I purchase furniture, check dimensions in shop !!! :O/ !

Off to continue with sorting out the rubbish in my bedroom ...... I may be some time :O( .... x x x

Happy Mothers Day....

2010-03-14T22:37:00.002Z

I hope all you lovely Mums out there have had a very Happy Mothers Day. I for one have had a lovely day. I had a delicious breakfast cooked for me and delivered to my bed. Lovely prezzies of keyring, teddy and Boyzone CD :o). And finally, but not least, taken out for a lovely meal tonight by Kirsty and Mark, (My eldest daughter and boyfriend). So a huge thank you to everyone. I feel thoroughly spoilt :O))

I have eaten far toooooooo much over the last 3 days. Friday evening , hubby and I enjoyed a wonderful meal cooked for us by the lovely Karon. We enjoyed the evening very much. Karon and Russ are great company and I really look forward to returning the compliment in a few weeks time. So thank you Karon for all your hard work. I then stuffed myself again on Saturday, and tonight I feel positively huge after my meal out !!! I really must get back on track again in the morning... I am sitting here with belly hanging over jeans and it really isn't a pretty sight !!!!!!!!!

Back to the grind tomorrow ......

Decisions, decisions ....

2010-03-12T08:41:00.003Z

Friday is here again, and the scales have just stuck at 12st 3 lb all week !! Thats ok I suppose, but I really have been saintly food wise, so I was maybe hoping for a little tincy wincy bit off, but hey, considering the healing "bullet hole" in my back and limited amount of movement, I suppose a STS should be welcomed.

I have been off sick this week with the "bullet hole" , having to have it dressed twice a week which is extremely uncomfortable to say the least. When I went yesterday to see the nurse to have it dressed again, she recommended another week off work. Although part of me is happy at the thought of being off, I find too much time on my hands can be as daunting as too little time on my hands! Does that make sense? I find I think too much about my life situation and find too many faults and end up wanting to change everything !! Hold on tight kids, you may be put up for adoption !! .... no seriously .... I wouldn't change the girls !! :O/ .... but I am thinking of ending my job at the Osteopaths .... for many reasons, .... but is it just the state of mind Im in?... or should I do it? Perhaps I should wait and see how I feel when Im better . Don't want to do anything rash and regret it afterwards...... I just don't know ... decisions, decisions .....

Anyway, I'm looking forward to tonight. The lovely Karon and her partner Russ, have invited hubby and me to dinner at their house. Karon's cooking so Im sure its going to be awsome :OP ...... see you tonight Karon :O) x

Right Im off now. I hope you have a lovely weekend guys. What have you all got planned? Don't forget your mothers on Mothers Day this Sunday..... I think Im having breakfast in bed cooked for me ... yummmmmm.... and also being taken out for a meal later on....looking forward to all of that !! Have fun, be good, and I will catch up with you again very soon... especially now that I have sooooooooooo much time on my hands !! x

Look what I found !!

2010-03-10T16:32:00.005Z

With time on my hands, I decided to sort out my bedroom drawers today, which badly needed doing. Im feeling the urge to spring clean, but limited to how much I can do with my dodgey back :O/ ....

Anyway, I took one drawer at a time, and emptied the contents on the bed, when I came across a newspaper snippet which was all about me when I reached my ww goal 7 years ago !! This picture is of me and my eldest daughter Kirsty (aged 12) wearing a skirt which I had quite easily fitted into on my own before I lost nearly 7 stone !!

Please excuse the dodgey hair !!! lol x

Feeling positive ........ (at last !!)

2010-03-09T14:21:00.002Z

Hi guys

Im signed off work this week due to the op on my back last week, so I have some time to do the things I want to do (within reason with a hole in my back :O/ ) . So here I am , in blogland !! YAY !!

Its nice to have a bit of time to call my own, to do what I like, although it was typical this morning .... signed off work and what happens ??.... NO INTERNET !!! Grrr... fault on the line so all morning without my beloved facebook, blogland, ww site, etc, etc, ...... anyway its back now, and Im a happy bunny again :O) .

Anyway, my back is healing ok. Had the dressing re-done yesterday and all is looking well according to the nurse. After my dressing on Friday, I felt awful, came home and in the afternoon ended up fainting for the first time ever !!. Thankfully , feeling a lot brighter now and can move around a lot more, although I keep getting nagged at to take it easy from hubby and girls ... bless them !! Thank you all for the lovely get well wishes I received, they were very greatly appreciated :O) ...

Ive been enjoying catching up with your blogs. Whilst I am here I would like to send my wishes to Emily, Sheilagh's grandaughter who has been going through a very worrying and tough time of late. Poor little poppet. I do hope your recovery Emily is a speedy one x

On the weight side of things, Im really feeling in control ... at last!! Im enjoying healthy foods again, and hoping I will be rewarded with another loss on Friday.... fingers crossed. Of course I will let you know.

Ok so Im off to try and find something good on day time TV ..... what a joke !! Surely there must be something good on one of these channels ??!! I have nearly 1000 channels for goodness sake !! I live in hope....

Will catch up with you all very soon, and if anyone knows of any good TV channels, then please let me know ;O) x

good week ....

2010-02-28T22:01:00.002Z

Hi guys.....

I'm pleased to report a good week on the ww side of things. I lost 2 pounds which Im pleased with. I was saintly during the week food-wise, until Friday night when I went to a chinese buffet restaurant ..the all you can eat type... with the lovely Karon and another ww lady that I have met throught the ww 5+ boards ...Jan Heather...!! It was the first time that I had met up with Jan. I am really enjoying meeting all these lovely people, putting a face to the name is good fun !! Needless to say we ate plenty :O)... and then went to a couple of pubs afterwards. After Jan had gone, Karon's lovely OH and his cousin drove us back to mine and we were drinking coffee until 2.15 am !!!! It was a good night though, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Its good to relax after a heavy week of work !!!

Although I still have a long way to go until I will be happy with my weight, I have decided to try and not get too stressed about it. As long as I dont go any higher than 12st 7 lb, then I can live with that. Of course I am trying to lose more weight, but my body has hovered around these last few pounds for so long now, and I feel that this is obviously a natural weight for me. I am wearing size 12 trousers from matalan which Im over the moon with, so I really should stop beating myself up when I have a gain. As long as I keep things in check each week by weighing in, and being good 75% of the time, then I should be happy with that.

Looking forward to next Saturday. Karon and I are paying the balance off on our holiday!!! Yippeeeeee.... that really will feel real then .... cant wait.....

Oh well, thats all for now folks.... its Sunday night, a new week and a new month begins tomorrow ..... hope you all have a great week, and once again, thank you for the words of support that I receive from you . It means a lot. Your all very special people x x x x

holds head in shame............

2010-02-21T18:40:00.000Z

Sorry guys, not much success to report here at the moment. A massive gain when weighed this Friday. 5 pounds on. What can I say? Total CR*P !! Thats how I feel right now............ hangs head in shame....
This journey is bloody hard sometimes. I want to eat the things that I love. I dont want to miss out on special occasions and go without while everybody else tucks in, I dont want to do this anymore, but I dont want to go back to weighing 7 stone more again ............

Sorry guys, just feeling pretty low right now. Lots of things are happening in my life that I dont have much control over, and the only thing I can control... Im letting slip away.....and im getting fatter by the minute.........
Hope to come back with a new lease of life next week. Please bear with me x x x

short and sweet ............

2010-02-16T19:25:00.003Z

Another flying visit to blog-land !!

Life is flying past me by in a flash right now...just wish someone would put the brakes on !!

Ive had a hectic week (yet again) and am sad to report a 1 pound gain at the scales last Friday. I was gutted and surprised and didn't think I deserved it. However, I am now heading towards a totally disastrous gain this week ... I have eaten everything in sight and I really dont know why. I had fish and chips on Friday ... a party on Saturday with far too much drink and food, huge dinner on Sunday plus a fried egg sandwich..etc, etc, etc,.... Is it the cold? possibly. Is it pre-menstrual ? probably.... is it just lack of willpower? ..TOTALLY !!!!!!!! No excuses now, Ive been a pig and thats final. Already quaking in my boots for Fridays weigh in and wondering whether I should bother. Im supposed to be going for a belated anniversary/valentines meal tomorrow night which will not help at all, and to be honest Im not sure that I want to go............ I already feel like an elephant... :O(

What would you guys do ?......... go for the meal and weigh in and face the music ?....... or boycott both which seems to be rather appealing right now !! Im losing the plot and I dont like it :O( .................

Good ww week ..... and massive NSV !!

2010-02-07T15:21:00.007Z

Hi Guys !! Long time no blog .... :O( .... sorry guys, it really is hectic at the moment trying to fit everything in, but Ive decided that Sunday is catch up day from now on. Ive been reading through your lovely blogs which I really enjoy doing. Some of you are really funny and I love the way you tell your adventures with humour !! Its great reading, and Im setting aside a couple of hours purely for blogland on Sunday's from now on to help keep me focused, cheer me up, and to remember that I am not alone in this journey........
Had a fab week on the scales this week. I lost 3 lbs !!! Absolutely thrilled to bits with that. Back to being exactly 12st again now. So close , yet again, to dipping into the 11's. I think the loss is due to a mixture of events. I have been saintly food wise...pass me the halo polish me thinks :O) .... and another factor is rushing here, there and everywhere to do my two jobs. It is a bit draining, but I will see how I get on in the coming weeks. Im enjoying being busy, but when I get in I just fall asleep, and I really don't want to be doing that. I would like to spend a bit of time with my girls, and Im not getting much chance to do that. So lets see what the next few weeks feels like and I will assess it again then.
Major NSV for me this week guys....... I fitted into my daughters size 12 bikini !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes , I said size 12 :O) ..... Ive been wearing a couple of pairs of size 12 trousers for a while, but somehow it just didn't register to me until yesterday, that I may get into that bikini !!! Was having a bit of a try on session to see what fits and what doesnt and believe me that was such a fab feeling getting that on !! Ok , so lets be entirely honest, I didnt look brill in it , .... but I did get it on and that to me is an achievement.... and I can always cover up the nasty bits with a sarong when I go away with the lovely Karon or just be really brave and have the *oh sod it* attitude and just dont give a monkey's about what people think ....yes thats what I will do... !!!
Had a lovely lunch out at Weatherspoons with Karon again yesterday. Stayed within points with breaded plaice and chips and peas which was lovely. It was good to catch up again, and had a good natter. Helped me to chill out a bit after a few nasty arguments with him indoors ............. enough said I think !!!
Anyway guys, its good to catch up with you all again. Have a brill week, and I will be back again next Sunday ... unless I manage to grab a quick sneaky 5 mins from somewhere ..... !!

TTFN my friends x x x

just practicing !!

2010-01-29T14:06:00.003Z

karon

Only practicing guys.... Karon just told me how to do a link with just someones name !! Wooohoooo I can do it :O)) . Thanks Karon x x x x

back on track :O) ............

2010-01-29T05:14:00.002Z

Hi guys !!

Firstly can I apologise for neglecting my blog. I seriously have not had time to sit down and write anything. Ive had a quick look through all of yours, which I loooooove reading, but thats all Ive had time for . So , considering I cant sleep (which is really weird as I had a really long day yesterday ... out of the house at 8.15 , first job til 12 , then nipped back to let the dog out , then 2nd job..finished there at 7.30 pm and straight on to darts :O/ ....and back home for 11 pm) ..... I then get into bed, bad case of cramp wakes me up at 3.13 am , 2 hours later I still cant sleep so Ive come downstairs to have a nice cup of tea and catch up with you guys. Its now 5.20 am. Luckily Im only working 8.30 til 12.00 today and then going to the hairdressers to be pampered, so a reasonably nice relaxing day ahead... yippeeeee !! Now that Im working full time, Im really beginning to understand the meaning of *roll on Friday* , although I am loving every minute :O) .

On the weight side of things, Im happy to announce a 2lb loss !!!! YAY !!! Really pleased with that. Im now 12st 3lb . Feel more in control again now. Im eating healthier, apart from the dessert from last Saturday which I will fill you in on in a moment. My mind feels in a much better place right now, able to cope with the temptations that are still lurking.... would you believe we still have a few roses chocolates and yummy choccy selction of biscuits in the cupboard from Christmas !!! Since Ive been doing both jobs, the desire to eat the naughties seems to have disappeared which is great ! Long may it continue !!

As to the yummy dessert from last Saturday , you may re-call from my last post that a few of us ww'ers who have met via the ww 5+ board and facebook arranged to meet up at Lakeside Shopping Centre in Thurrock, and what a lovely day that was. I drove over to Karons and we left from there about 9.30. Karon drove us down to Thurrock, and we browsed around a few shops before meeting for lunch with the others at 1pm. We met at a restaurant called Old Orleans , which was lovely. The others had arrived first. We met Carole Cerro (Frenchie 73 from the ww boards) and Rebecca Louise Tape Kenne (RKenne from the ww boards). Rebecca bought her sister Kate along and Carole bought a friend along who's name has escaped me....eeeeeekkkk....sorry, I do apologise !! We had a lovely meal, and of course lots of chatter about weight and food and advice, tips, and ideas. To start I had some garlic bread, then for mains I had roast chicken with jacket potato , and the scrummy dessert I was hinting at was called chocolate blonde brownie... of course being a blonde, I had to try it, and oooooooohhhhh .... how nice was that :OP ...... DELICIOUS !! I savoured every mouthful !! After the meal, we said our goodbyes, but we do hope to do it again in the summer if anyone is interested. Karon and I continued our shopping trip until 7pm , then Karon drove home. We were chatting so much, we missed our turning off of the M25, which was quite funny. Its a good job Karon was driving as I would of had no idea how to get home !! It was a long day, but an enjoyable one. Looking forward to next time !!!.

The picture above is of our day with our fellow ww'er friends.

Take care for now guys. Im glad Ive had chance to catch up with you all. Ive also received two lovely blog awards. One from Phil and one from Linz, which Im very proud of. Thank you to both of you. Im sorry I have not got enough to pass them on at the moment. But I certainly will when I get the chance. Thank you again.

Stay safe, warm and happy..... and keep that weight coming off guys !! Catch up with ya again soon x x x

Thank heavens its Friday !!!!

2010-01-22T13:40:00.002Z

WOW !! What a week !! Working full time is certainly different to working my little part-time job, thats for sure !! I think this week a pair of roller skates would have helped considerably... lol... but having said that, I have enjoyed every minute !! :O)
As you may know, I started my new job on Monday morning with the Doctors Surgery. I was nervous, but Im loving it !! Marjie who is training me is nearly 50, but you wouldnt believe it, she acts and looks about 20 and she is so much fun. She is a keep fit finatic who does kick boxing and looks great, so maybe that will help me stay on track !! We have got on great and she has had me in fits of laughter this week!! Its been a brill week. I do 25 hours a week there, and dont get to sit down at all , and I am also continuing to do my job at the Osteopath Surgery for 11 hours a week which I have been doing for 19 months now and really enjoy. So all in all, apart from being shattered, and falling asleep about 10pm and the house looking a shambles, and the dog needing a walk, it has been a hectic, but enjoyable week...yippeee !! Its now Friday afternoon. I finished at the Doctor's surgery at 12, and now have the chance for the first time this week to catch up with what you guys have been doing and fill you in on my bits and bobs !!
Firstly I would like to say a huge thank you to Phil for my blog award. I am deeply honoured to have received it, and I do intend to pass it along on Sunday when I get the computer for a bit longer!! Kids will be in in a minute and take over, so I have just grabbed a quick opportunity to give you an update ! But thank you Phil, it means a lot.
Secondly weight wise... :O/ ..... erm not good !! The damage was done last weekend. On Saturday I had my first chinese in months and we ate at my mums house. Mum thought she was ordering enough food to feed an army, so I had a huge plateful of all sorts of things !! So that was day 1 of damage. Next day was out on the booze with hubby. Got in at 2am completely hammered which led to the munchies.... :O/ ..... eeeekkk so that was damage number 2. Damage number 3 last weekend occurred on Sunday. We drove the 6 hour round trip to see my sister in Shropshire. Although what I ate was not bad, I did indulge in about 6 sandwiches. Bread with me is a real issue . It blows me out considerably, and I have felt bloated all week , in fact I have felt like a whale all week. I dared to get on the scales on Tuesday and it was telling me I had gained 4 pounds, but with a week of salads, and constantly being on the go, I have managed to claw two pounds back. So this weeks result was a 2 pounds GAIN ....but TOTM arrived yesterday aswell, so that may not have helped at all..... so back to it !! Ive been pretty good since Monday, although Im finding darts night really unhelpful. We played on Wednesday night this week, but its usually on Thursday, and after the darts they always bring out more plates of sandwiches and a basket of chips .... and I do usually like to have a nibble. Im considering changing my weigh in day, but at the moment, I will keep it on Fridays.
Tomorrow have another busy day planned. Going down to Lakeside shopping centre with Karon, to meet up with a few ww people that we have got to know from the boards and facebook. Not sure yet who is coming, or how many of us will be there, as Karon has organised it, but Im looking forward to it all the same. I think a meal is planned and of course a bit of shopping :O))) ..... its going to be a good day.

If you have got this far down, then thank you for reading my rambles. I feel I have had so much to tell you !! Sorry if you have already dropped off to sleep.... I will endeavour to try harder to keep you amused next time ... LOL. Hope you are all ok. I will be reading up on you all very soon, to see what you guys have all been up to. But for now, I will say cheerio. Hope you all have a great weekend, be good, and if you can,t be good .... be careful ;O) x

Slowly but surely ..........

2010-01-15T18:08:00.002Z

Ok , so Im not going to win any medals for fastest loser , but Im happy to say I have lost another pound at my weigh in today. YAY for me !!

Today Im feeling hugely motivated. My willpower seems to have returned 100% now, which is an absolute delight, as to be honest I have found the last few weeks sooooooooooo hard !! Ive been battling away trying to stay within points and failing miserably...Ive even been craving chocolate which really is not me. If anything Im a savoury person and crave crisps daily, but chocolate? Whats all that about ?! Weird....... lol

So yes, today feels good. Ive just enjoyed a jacket potato for my dinner filled with a mixture of wafer thin ham, onion and mayonnaise, and bucket loads of salad and beetroot !! Im stuffed, but in a healthy way :O) ......

Have a great weekend everyone x

Today's the day.....

2010-01-12T11:49:00.002Z

that I get myself back on track !!
Im writing too many posts these days saying Ive lost the plot, and can't do this and can't do that .... but Ive given myself a stern talking to !! Do I want to end up back at virtually 19st ? Because that is exactly what is going to happen if I don't get a grip on this NOW !! Ive been here too many times, having lost loads of weight and put it all back on again and more. I AM NOT GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN !!!!
So from today, no more excuses, no more being lazy, no more nonsense .... !! Feeling positive right now. Have just taken the dog on a 30 minute walk...which ok is not much... but a lot more than taking her out of the house, into the car, out of the car, into my mums, and vice versa which is what I have been doing lately..... poor dog !! Ive been leaving it up to my daughter to walk her, but Im so glad I did it today. She was delighted to be trudging through the remains of the snow and ice, bless her !! And isn't it weird , that when you do actually make the effort to move around, it makes you feel so much better !!!
Food intake is good today. Had a muller light yogurt for brekky, and just about to have a wafer thin ham salad for lunch. Jacket potato and beans and salad for dinner.....pretty good I think. Long may it last !!
Thank you for your comments on my last post. It's good to know your not alone, and the offer to be pulled back on the wagon again with Karon driving, should be a giggle !! I look forward to it :O)
Also on another high note, I went around to have a look at the doctors surgery where I will be starting work next Monday ! Its lovely. And Marjorie who will be training me is a complete nutcase, so I should fit in well :O) . The only downer to my new job, is my current boss who is giving me a hard time for dropping one shift with him.... although I have said I will still stay there and work both the jobs if humanly possible !! He has now called an emergency meeting with all receptionists 7.30 Thursday night..... I wouldn't mind but its 13 miles away from me, and its darts night ... why oh why can he not tell me what he wants to discuss on Thursday morning when Im working there anyway !!! GGGrrrrr......... what an idiot !!.
Anyway, will not let him get me down.... onwards and upwards, and positivity flowing ...... fingers crossed it stays this way.
TTFN guys xxx

what do i need to do ......

2010-01-10T22:32:00.002Z

to get my arse back into gear ???!!!!!

I was doing really well. Staying on track 90% of the time, then had weigh in on Friday where I only lost 1 pound , and I still managed to stay on track until Saturday night, when I ended up diving into Dominoes Full House pizza, wedges, and garlic bread .... this did follow a few drinky poos admittedly....aaaarrrggghhhh !!! Where is my will power ?? I seriously would like to find it again, so if anyone has seen it, please throw it back at me !!!

EXCITED !!!!!!!!!!! HOLIDAY BOOKED WITH.....

2010-01-08T16:38:00.004Z

Woooooo hoooooooooooo ..... have just got back from booking a holiday with Karon from http://www.twinklestrek.blogspot.com/ ..... May 4th ..... Laganas here we come !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SSSoooooooooooooooo excited !!

Have never been on a girly holiday before, so this is going to be awesome.... roll on May !! :O)))) x x x

New facebook profile just for ww .....

2010-01-04T09:14:00.002Z

Hi everyone....

Just wanted to let you all know that I now have a separate facebook profile which is just weight related, to keep things simple. I dont mind sharing my ups and downs and weight with you guys, but don't really want the whole world knowing :O) .....

My facebook name for ww is ..... Tina Iwanttobethin ...if you want to add me that will be fantastic . Im trying to send out friend requests as we speak.

Look forward to seeing you on there x x

Feeling positive :O))... ww...new job...new year....

2010-01-03T09:46:00.003Z

My posts have been short and sweet of late, with the busy bustle of christmas, but I now have chance to fill you in a little more on whats been happening......
I have thoroughly enjoyed Christmas and the New Year celebrations this year !! its been fun.......However, it is now time to take down the tree, re-focus on ww, start my new opportunity which I will fill you in on in a min, and look forward to what lies ahead this year in 2010 .... ;O)
Im now holding onto the ww wagon with my teeth and nails. After my ghastly gain of 7 pounds :( .... I really need to brush that under the carpet and recapture that desire, and drive to get the last of this weight off again. First two days back on plan have gone ok . As I speak , I am now only 1.5 points over what I should be, which for me is brilliant !! An sp has also shown a loss of 1 pound :O) .... so its starting to go in the right direction again... YAY !! Unfortunately, the house is still crammed with tins of chocolates, biscuits, peanuts, cakes, trifles...... all of which my family love, so I cant even get rid of it all..... I still have 3 of my own unopened boxes of chocolates which Im contemplating giving away to a good home :O) ..... I would say Im 95% back on track. Had a ww meal on new years day, and yesterday dinner was a cod fillet in breadcrumbs and vegetables. Thats not bad considering the last 2 weeks..... so watch this space !! Found a very good quote on facebook this morning which I liked .....

"People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and New Year , when they really should worry about what they eat between New Year and Christmas"

Lol ... how true !!

As to my new opportunity.... :O) .... last week, 30th December, I was invited to attend an interview for a job which I had applied for. The job is for 25 hours a week, about a 5 minute drive away, as a receptionist at a doctors surgery !!! I am pleased and over the moon to say that I GOT THE JOB !!!! The lady rang me on New Years Eve to tell me !!
The job which I currently do is a receptionist at an Osteopath Practice, 2 afternoons and 1 morning a week which is 13 miles away. Ironically, the shifts for both jobs almost enable me to do both ... eeeeekkk..... I do love my Osteopath job, although the boss is very pushy and making me do a lot more than be a receptionist with no extra money... he has already said he wants me to be the next practice manager, but to be honest, Im not sure I want the hassle. Im more than willing to do my shifts as a receptionist, and work hard, and would love to be able to do both jobs , (just need to see if one lady is willing to do a morning shift instead of an evening shift at the osteopaths and then Ive got it covered , although I feel I may need to drop one shift to just give me half a days break!!).... really need to go in and talk to the Osteopaths to see what they think.... I dont want to leave there, but lets see what they say. Financially , if it came to it and I have to choose one or the other, it would be better to leave the Osteopaths as Im spending too much on petrol there..... lets just wait and see.... I will let you know later this week !! Fingers crossed !!

Feeling really positive right now, new year, back on track with ww (just) , new job , and Im in the process of planning a holiday with a friend in May ... ;O)) !! Have never been away before with a friend before, and Im sooooooooooooooooo looking forward to it. Shes great company and Im sure we will have a giggle. Both families have said they don't mind us going, so think its going to be booked up by the end of this week !!! YAY !!! cant wait !!

OMG !!!!! 7 POUNDS !!! ..............

2010-01-01T19:25:00.004Z

OMG !!! Finally took the plunge and weighed myself this morning ... A WHOPPING 7 POUNDS GAIN !!!!

Thats what I get for taking 2 weeks off plan !! Back on the wagon now .....

Thank you and Happy New Year to you all x x x

2009-12-31T18:24:00.002Z

As the end of 2009 approaches, I would just like to send you, my followers, a huge THANK YOU for taking the time to read my ramblings from week to week. For commenting and lifting my spirits with your words of praise, encouragement, and kindness throughout the year. This journey would be very lonely without you all, and I do appreciate each and everyone of you. I look forward to spending 2010 reading your blogs and following your journey's and having a laugh or two with you along the way.

So to every single one of you...... HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!! x x x x x x x x x

Christmas.........

2009-12-29T07:15:00.004Z

After all those hours of preparation, trudging the streets for prezzies, wrapping them, sending cards, food shops, and the christmas decco's covering the house, and eating until your stuffed, its now all over again for another year ......

Although I had a good day, the vast majority of it was spent in the kitchen (again)!! The day began with my 2 daughters opening a sack full of prezzies each, I dont think they were disappointed by their reactions. Santa had bought some pretty good things this year ;O) . If anything, this is my happiest part of the day. Seeing my girls being happy. To me that means a lot. After they had finished, hubby and I exchanged gifts. 3 of mine I had chosen already, a ww cook book, a new pair of boots (that I had already borrowed on my night out with Karon) but they had been wrapped up afterwards, and a hairdryer. Not overly exciting, but things I either needed or wanted, so that was good. I also got some perfume, and a mug. Hubby was pleased with his wii games, and Delia Smith's cook book... LOL ... he can't stand Delia Smith !! He is an avid Ipswich supporter , and of course Delia is associated with their biggest rivals Norwich City .... but he did see the funny side when he opened the prezzy. My darling daughters had bought us prezzys too. My youngest knows I have a mad passion for Simon Cowell :OP .... and she bought me a gorgeous Simon Cowell calendar !! And my other daughter bought me a lovely big cup with me to you bears on it. Lovely. They really are great kids and I love them to bits.

After all the prezzy giving, I then went to lay a christmas wreath on Dads grave with mum, and came back to do dinner whilst hubby and girls went to the outlaws in Bury to deliver presents. They were gone for 2 and a half hours whilst I was up to my eyes in roast potatoes, and brussels ..... but hey, someones gotta do it !!

Dinner went well, totally went overboard !! My Mum and eldest daughter joined us for dinner also which was good. After an hour or so after dinner, the girls packed their bits to go to their dads for a couple of days which they enjoy doing. Boxing Day I didnt even get out of my Pj's until 3pm. Sat doing a 1000 piece puzzle which I had bought for hubby. It was blooming difficult, you see, the picture on the front, is not the picture on the puzzle. You have to guess what happened next ... we have finished it, but boy was that hard !!

On Sunday I was cooking for the outlaws. From previous posts, you may know that they are not my favourite people, but its Christmas, and I thought I should offer. No-one else offers to have them..... I wonder why ??!!

So that was Christmas really. I worked the 3 days leading up to Christmas Eve, and today Im back to work for the 3 days leading up to New Years Eve, which is a bit of a grind as hubby and the kids have 2 weeks off ..... yes Im starting to feel sorry for myself ... LOL !!

I did have a lovely Christmas, but every year I find it an anti-climax. I suppose I put so much effort in, and get little out.... but hey.... the impressions left in my mind are the girls faces when opening their prezzies .... and my 10 year old on Christmas Eve writing a little note for Santa, and the carrots that are still laying all over the garden which the reindeers couldnt eat ..... thats Christmas ..... and thats what counts... my girls x x x

more embarrassing pics from our night out !! x

2009-12-20T10:20:00.005Z

Oh dear !! Oh dear !! Oh dear !! Lol !! More embarrassing pictures have come to light from my boozy night out with Karon http://twinklestrek.blogspot.com/ !! I had completely forgotten that Karon had taken a camera with us !! A brilliant night out was had ....... when are we doing it again Karon ? Here are just a few.... pmsl .........

2 MASSIVE THANK YOU'S ..... :o)))))

2009-12-19T09:44:00.005Z

As I type this, I am still, ever so slightly, tiddly !!! My head is spinning, I can still taste vodka (not very nice mixed with low fat yogurt :O/ ....) and Im so dehydrated its unreal !!!! But there is a good reason for all of this..... I had an absolutely blinding night out with Karon from http://twinklestrek.blogspot.com !!!!! It truly was the best night out Ive had in a very, very long time. We both got completely hammered !!! We danced, had a giggle, and I can't wait to do it all again one day !!! Karon, you truly are an amazing friend. Im so glad we found each other at that car boot sale. Your a friend for life and I want to thank you for that .... friends like you don't come along every day, and assuming your still alive after last night, I want to wish you an amazing christmas and happy new year x x x

My second thank you goes to Phil from http://phil-theincredibleshrinkingman.blogspot.com/ . This lovely man has given me a blog award which I am extremely proud of. Your words were very kind Phil. Im glad you find my blog inspirational. If it helps anyone in anyway, then Im so pleased. Im honoured and very touched . Thank you hunnie. You yourself have a fantastic blog Phil, and like I said in my comment to you, your strength and commitment to your journey should be commended, and Im honoured to be one of your followers. I would also like to wish you a wonderful christmas and new year Phil x x x

So what else can I say. Im feeling very, very happy today .... x x x

2009-12-18T05:53:00.003Z

Absolutely over the moon !! I lost 4 pounds !!!!!!!!! Yes 4 lbs !!! Back to 11 st 12 lbs :O)))) ....
Im thrilled to bits with that. My word my body is sooooooooo weird !! I was even on the ww 5+ board at the beginning of this week whinging that I looked like I was heading for a 1 pound gain to add to the 3 pounds I gained last week due to my birthday..... and here I am having not only lost the 3 lb that I gained last week, but they bought a little friend with them !!! :O))) !!
I have been really good this week, although I still come slightly over points by 4 . Im still trying to make wise decisions, although I have thoroughly enjoyed doing some home cooking this week, which consisted of home made mince pies and little brandy cakes ...... mmmmmmm .... :OP ..... not sure where this urge to cook is coming from, as I am no domestic goddess by far , but hey , I have thoroughly enjoyed it. I may see what else I can conjur up this weekend. Any suggestions or recipes would be greatly received !!
Although I have had a brilliant result today, which Im delighted with, I have found the last few weeks really difficult. There are some delicious foods around this time of year, that other members of the family dive into without a seconds thought, and I either sit there sulking or have to work out whether I have enough points left for, and my 19 points doesn't even go anywhere near what I really want to be eating. Its been a hard month. Im hoping that when January arrives, this feeling will disappear and I will get my drive back to get the rest of this weight off. I think a lot of people are feeling the same right now.......
So on this very happy note , Im off to start the day. Ive woke up at 5 am, not good as Im out drinking with the lovely Karon tonight from http://www.twinklestrek.blogspot.com/. We have never had a night out together before, and should be a giggle !! Im looking forward to it. There may be pictures coming, so be prepared !!! A happy bunny today, just in time for christmas :O)))... Ive not decided yet whether to weigh in next week or not. It will be Christmas day and Im sure by then, the Christmas nibbles will have set in on Christmas Eve big time. Ive decided to have Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day off plan, and jump back to it after that. I may not weigh again so that I can enjoy this high Im on now, and think to myself, hey girl .... your in the 11's for Christmas !!!!!! WHOOOPPPPEEEEE !!!!!!

2009-12-13T18:16:00.002Z

Feeling really festive today :O)))

2009-12-11T19:47:00.002Z

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE X X X X X X

Well, I braved the scales ... :O(

2009-12-11T11:40:00.002Z

Well the inevitable happened. I decided to brave the scales this morning, despite it being my birthday week and having two meals out. This journey is for life, and birthdays are a part of my life, so its only right that I take the good and the bad and keep myself in check .....
I climbed on the scales and I have gained 3 pounds :O( .... back to 12st 2 lbs .... :O(

Ok so the damage is done, but did I have a good birthday? Yes I did. And it was worth every ounce of those 3 pounds and more !! So back on the wagon now, firmly stuck in the driving seat, ready to dive back into the 11's for Christmas...

My only question now is ..... why does it take a month for me to lose 3 pounds , but I can gain 3 pounds in 2 days ??!!! AAaarrrggghhhhh !!!! Out for lunch with Karon today :O)) .... healthy of course x x x

2009-12-10T18:16:00.001Z

Can't believe its Christmas Eve in two weeks..... aaarrrggghhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x

Birthday week ..........

2009-12-10T13:27:00.002Z

Well I have now reached the grand old age of 41 !! It was my birthday on Tuesday, and I had a lovely day. The first birthday meal was on Monday night with hubby, my 3 girls, and my mum. We ate at The Manger at Bradfield Combust. I found it really hard to choose what to have,as there was a lovely choice. I was torn between chicken kiev or mixed grill. I opted for the Chicken Kiev, as I hadnt had this for such a long time. I could almost taste the garlic butter....dribble dribble, but they came back to the table and said they only had one kiev left, so I let my eldest daughter have it... :O(( ....... I then decided to have the mixed grill .... Oh My !!! It was huge !! I enjoyed every single mouthful , and really struggled to eat it all. Eventually I managed to eat it, and couldnt move for a while... lol.... I dread to think how many points were in that !!! About 90 Im sure !! After half an hour everyone decided to choose dessert..... to be honest, I didnt really need one, but I thought as it was my birthday I would indulge..........I indulged in the most delicious, absolutely scrummy, devine chocolate mouse, with cream inside, covered with melted chocolate snickers bar on top.... I cant remember what the full name of it was, but called something lumpy bumpy and it most certainly made me feel lumpy and bumpy........Ive never tasted anything so nice ... EVER !!! It was heaven on a plate :OP ......
On Tuesday, I opened my prezzies and cards. I got money, PJ's , A bottle of Ouzo , Dressing gown , and a cd. We then dropped the kids into school and went out for the whole day. We started at Marlows, and had a leisurely browse around the christmas goodies, then we went bowling , then went out for lunch... a delicious steak pie and vegetables, then went to the arc shopping centre, then to matalan, then to our local pub for a couple of hours before returning home at 8pm... it was a busy, but lovely day. Not having to worry about getting back or rushing to work was just so nice. Wish I could do things like that more often :O))))....
So all in all, a lovely couple of days. I havent dare step on the scales all week.... my body has been churning and gurgling since my massive mixed grill on Monday. Its just not used to that volume of food anymore, or that type of food !! So not sure wether to weigh in tomorrow or not .... I will wait and see..... yes I know, Im a chicken...lol...
Off to darts tonight...looking forward to playing for the team again. I really enjoy those nights out.
Hope you are all ok. Been trying to catch up with a few blogs in between birthdays and christmas shopping lol....what a busy time of year x

In the 11's... OFFICIALLY this time !! :O)))

2009-12-05T07:59:00.003Z

Lol .... after my premature celebration 2 weeks ago of dipping into the 11's on the Saturday, and then following with an official weigh in last Friday back to 12st ....... Im happy to say that my official weigh in yesterday was 11st 13 lbs !!! YAY !! 1lb lost !! And Im halfway through my monthlys, so really pleased with that....and in the 11's just in time for my birthday next Tuesday.....woooohhoooooo .......... however, having said that, this week is going to be tricky. I have 2 meals planned for my birthday, one with all my girls and my mum, and the other just with hubby on Tuesday, so the chances of me still being in the 11's next week (excuse the pun ....) are pretty slim !!! LOL ..!!
But Im not going to worry. Next Friday is just another weigh day in my entire life. Of course it would be great to still be in the 11's , but you have to live, and I only get one birthday a year, so I intend to enjoy BIG TIME !!
I now have a week off work to enjoy too..... happy days :O)) x

So near, yet so far..........

2009-11-27T18:19:00.007Z

Another Friday has come round yet again.... these weeks are just flying by. Its weigh in day today, and after my rather premature celebration last weekend of dipping into the 11's on Saturday for just a brief while... (obviously purely down to dehydration from my vodka intake Friday night) Im afraid to say that Im back up to 12st ... :O( .... Having said that, I have still lost 1 pound since my last official weigh in last Friday. So in that respect, I should be happy...well sort of...still want to be in the blooming 11's though...but hey...maybe next week ......if I chop my leg off perhaps :O/ ....

Im beginning to wonder if I will every get in and stay in the 11's now. My body is just not letting it happen. Maybe I have reached the stage where my body wants to be. I would dearly love to be 11 stone, but maybe I should just start thinking how far I have come. Ive lost 96 pounds in total, which Im sooooooo happy with. I feel better. I look better. So why am I itching to lose another stone? Im not even going to attempt to get back to weight watchers goal weight, I would have to be 9st 11 pounds for my height, and the last time I got there, I looked so thin, and Im now 7 years older than I was then, so dont really think it would do me any favours to look like that now. So yes 11 stone I would like to be, and I will keep plugging away, but there is a little voice in my head saying to me that I dont look too bad, so as long as I dont gain anymore weight, then maybe I shouldnt be so hard on myself. Thats the theory anyway, just have to put it into practice now, and see what happens.

Its been a busy old week. Done an extra days work this week as overtime, and Im doing the same next week. The extra money will certainly come in handy for christmas and the pending move in the new year. My house is now officially up for sale and we have our very first viewers coming to look at it tomorrow afternoon at 2pm....eeeeeeeekkk. It sounds quietly promising. Even before any pictures were put on the estate agents internet, these people, that already live in the same town, saw that it was soon to become available, and they wanted to view it! Hopefully that is a good sign. They already know the town, the area, the street in which I live, and want a bigger property.....so all in all, looking positive. I will keep you posted. I had the sad news this week that the little bungalow I was after has been sold :O( ............. however, I dont let the grass grow under my feet, and have two other properties to look at tomorrow. One at 10 am , and the other at 11 am.... its a good job they are not too far apart...only about 10 minutes maximum, so should be able to do both. So looking forward to it and quite excited about the prospect of it all happening. So watch this space.

Finally before I leave you all, I met up with the lovely Karon again for lunch today at prezzos. Another really scrummy dinner we had....far too much of it though !!! . She is such a lovely person. The little darling bought me a whole range of weight watcher products for me to try, and some lovely low fat sausages that look scrummy...cant wait to try them all. Thank you hunnie, your an angel. Looking forward to our night out ;O) ....

So thats it for now folks. Hope your all doing ok. I have seen a few down beat blogs lately. Hope your all feeling a bit better or happier now. I also want to wish Sarah from http://thinfor30.blogspot.com a speedy recovery in hospital . Take care everyone. Bye for now x x x

Its been a lovely weekend .....

2009-11-22T20:31:00.004Z

It has been a lovely weekend. Went out with hubby on Friday night and had a few vodka's :) .....and then on Saturday found out I had reached my 7 stone off (although this may be due to dehydration from Friday night !! :O/) ...also put christmas deco's up on Saturday , and today have been to see my lovely cousin Jenny, her hubby Stu and their son James...... a lovely weekend :O) x x x

YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At Last !!!! :O))))))))))))))) ...in the 11's x

2009-11-21T11:01:00.004Z

Wooooooooooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooooo !!!

AT LAST !!!! In the 11's ....... I Said the 11's !!!!!!!!!! In fact...not just in the 11's.... Im 11st 12 lb !!!!!

I cant believe it !!! After struggling for weeks, the scales have finally dipped into the 11's .... YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just had to tell you all ....... Have now lost exactly 7 stone aswell..... so happy x

Happy, happy ..... it better bloody stay like that til next Friday at weigh in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hubby took this piccy ....... :O)))))))))))))) x x x

Two steps forward and one step back ..... :O(

2009-11-20T17:06:00.003Z

Thats how I feel today. Weight has gone up by a pound YET AGAIN !!! Back to 12st 1 lb ....gggggrrrrrrrrrrr...... when will I ever get into those bloody 11's ???

Getting really fed up with this yo-yoing. I gain, I lose, I gain..... its a viscious circle. Its so annoying especially on the weeks where you really know you have stuck to plan 100% like this week.

To make me even more fed up, I have just looked back on my weigh in results and found that I actually got into the 12 stones on July 17th ..... 4 months later Im still in them .... :O(

I have also realised I have missed my next target to get into the 11's by the 1st November..... 3 weeks overdue and still not there.... ho hum ..... :O( ....... will now set that target back to December 8th (my birthday). This gives me another 2 and a half weeks to get there. So badly want to get into the 11's, its a head thing really, phsycologically it will make me feel fantastic....

So for now, back to the grindstone ....... watch this space .... x

2009-11-17T06:58:00.002Z

Ok so I'm halfway through my week with ww. Ive been very good. Pointed everything. Drank loads of water. Even did a very long walk on Sunday which is the first in many weeks..... so why oh why are the scales showing a 2lb gain ...?? It did this to me last week....then luckily, come weigh day, it sorted itself....and I lost a pound.
Yes I know I shouldn't SP, but I can't help it. It somehow keeps me on the straight and narrow. But I must admit, on weeks like this, when I know Ive been 100% with everything, it does feel like a kick in the teeth for the scales to be going in the wrong direction..... I can only hope, that again this week, they sort themselves out for weigh day ...all I need is half a pound and I will be in the 11's .................

On a much lighter note..... I have eventually decided to put the house up for sale..... my little bungalow may become a reality after all ... :O_).....so watch this space x x x

GGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.............

2009-11-15T20:30:00.002Z

I swear if my husband moans at me one more time this weekend, I will kill him !!!!!

Up at 3.45am on a Saturday morning.... WTF ?

2009-11-14T05:28:00.002Z

Why is it, whenever I have a bad nights sleep, its always on the blooming weekend when I should be having a lay in !! How annoying is that !! Woke up for a pee at 3.45 this morning and could I get back to sleep? Could I f*ck !! So here I am in my little virtual world of blogland.... where I love to be with my thoughts that I only share with you guys.

There is a lot going round in my head at the moment. Im on the verge of placing my house up for sale.... Ive lived in it for 19 years, reared my 3 beautiful daughters in it, but yet, I feel its time to move on.... so why is it the idea makes me tearful, excited, worried, happy.... :O/ ..........??? Ive been wanting to move for a while now....Oh what to do ! You see, Ive fallen in love with a bungalow, about 10 minutes away from here, and yes we can afford it. There are 3 other couples interested in it aswell, so its now a race to sell all our properties and place a decent offer. Do I, don't I, Do I, don't I ..........

Another pound bites the dust !

2009-11-13T11:59:00.003Z

Well the title says it all, but how did that happen !! All week the dreaded SP's were saying that I had gained a pound, so being ultra careful had a really light tea last night, jumped on the scales this morning and woooooo hoooooo a pound lost !! YAY !! Bang on 12st now............. hopefully dipping my toes in the 11's next week.

I had been really good and in control all week. My time occupied by cleaning the house from top to bottom, instead of lurking in the kitchen. I have a valuer coming to value my house in about half an hours time. Fingers crossed he says what I want him to say :>) ........... the good thing is the house is sparkling and I must have certainly earnt a few BP's all week.... and further more the girls bedrooms look like bedrooms now instead of the local dumping ground !!!!!!! YAY !! So if all else fails, at least I have a clean house.

Work is taking a turn for the better. My boss had a word with me , and wants me to take over the marketing side of the company. He has also said that he wants to start training me up to take over as Practice Manager when Patricia retires in a couple of years..... eeeeeeeekkkkkk...... promotion !! Just hope it doesn't put other peoples noses out of place that have been there a lot longer than me !! Looking forward to taking on extra responsibility.... so watch this space.

All in all, a successful week. Just need a good valuation on the house, and I will be a happy bunny. I have my lovely niece Joanne coming round tonight to go through some old piccys. She is sorting out a personalised calendar for mum for christmas...... it will be nice to catch up with her x

Weekly weigh in results....

2009-11-10T12:11:00.003Z

I decided to start losing weight in January 2008 when I weighed 18st 12lb.
Only the odd pound or two came off and I had lost 13 pounds by the beginning of September . I knew it should
have been coming off quicker than that So I joined ww on September 15th 2008
weighing 17st 13lb......

The figures in blue are what I have lost since Sept 08, the figures in green are the overall amount including the 13lb I lost since January 08 ........

START WW September 15th 2008 - 17st 13lbs BMI 46 !!

WK 1 September 22nd 2008 - 17st 7lbs - 6 = -6lbs

WK 2 September 29th 2008 - 17st 4lbs -3 = -9lbs

WK 3 October 6th 2008 - 17st 3lbs -1 = -10lbs

WK4October13th2008-17st0lb-=-3=-13lbs(5%gone) WK5October20th2008-16st12lbs-2=-15lbs (1st 13lb)

WK 6 October 27th 2008 - 16st 9lbs -3 = -18lbs

WK 7 November 3rd 2008 - 16st 5lbs -4 = -22lbs

WK 8 November 10th 2008 - 16st 5lbs -0 = -22lbs

WK 9 November 17th 2008 - 16st 3lbs -2 = -24lbs

WK 10 November 24th 2008 - 16st 0lbs -3 = -27lbs (10% gone)

WK 11 December 1st 2008 - 16st 3lbs +3 = -24lbs (IRELAND)

WK 12 December 5th 2008 - 15st 13lbs -4 = -28lbs (2 stone gone) (2st 13lbs)

WK 13 December 12th 2008 - 15st 12lbs -1 = -29lbs

WK 14 December 19th 2008 - 15st 11lbs -1 = -30lbs

WK 15 December 24th 2008 - 15st 7lbs -4 = -34lbs

WK 16 January 2nd 2009 - 15st 6lbs -1 = -35lbs

WK 17 January 9th 2009 - 15st 5lbs -1 = -36lbs

WK 18 January 16th 2009 - 15st 4.5lbs -.5 = -36.5lbs

WK 19 January 23rd 2009 - 15st 2lbs -2.5 = -39lbs

WK 20 January 30th 2009 - 15st 0lbs -2 = -41lbs

WK 21 February 6th 2009 - 15st 1lb +1 = -40lbs

WK 22 February 13th 2009 - 14st 12lbs -3 = -43lbs ( 3st 13lbs)

WK 23 February 20th 2009 - 15st 0lb +2 = -41lbs

WK 24 February 27th 2009 - 14st 11lb -3 = -44lbs

WK 25 March 6th 2009 - 14st 9lb -2 = -46lbs

WK 26 March 13th 2009 - 14st 7lb -2 = -48lbs

WK 27 March 20th 2009 - 14st 6lb -1 = -49lbs

WK 28 March 27th 2009 - 14st 4.5lb -1.5 = -50.5lbs

WK 29 April 3rd 2009 - 14st 1lb - 3.5 =-54lbs BMI 36 (20%)

WK 30 April 10th 2009 - 13st 13lb -2 = -56lbs 4 stone ( 4st 13lbs)

WK 31 April 17th 2009 - 14st 0lb +1 = -55lbs

WK 32 April 24th 2009 - 13st 12lb -2 = -57lbs

WK 33 May 1st 2009 - 13st 10lb -2 = -59lbs

WK 34 May 8th 2009 - 13st 11lb +1 = -58lbs

WK 35 May 15th 2009 - 13st 9lb -2 = -60lbs

WK 36 May 22nd 2009 - 13st 9lb STS = -60lbs

WK 37 May 29th 2009 - 13st 6lb -3 = -63lbs

WK 38 June 5th 2009 - 13st 8lb +2 = -61lbs

WK 39 June 12th 2009 - 13st 5lb -3 = -64lbs

WK 40 June 19th 2009 - 13st 3lb -2 = -66lbs

WK 41 June 26th 2009 - 13st 4lb +1 = -65lbs

WK 42 July 3rd 2009 - 13st 2lb -2 = -67lbs

WK 43 July 10th 2009 - 13st 0lb -2 = -69lbs

WK 44 July 17th 2009 - 12st 13lb -1 = - 70lbs 5 STONE !! (5st 13lb)

WK 45 July 24th 2009 - 12st 13lb STS = -70lbs

WK 46 July 31st 2009 - 12st 13lb STS = -70lbs BMI 33

WK 47 August 7th 2009 - 12st 12lb -1 = - 71 lbs

WK 48 August 14th 2009 - 12st 8 lb -4 = - 75 lbs 75 lbs !! ( 88 lbs)

WK 49 August 21st 2009 - 12st 9 lb +1 = -74 lbs

WK 50 August 28th 2009 - 12st 7 lb - 2 = -76 lbs

WK 51 September 4th 2009 - 12st 7lb STS = -76lbs

WK52 September 11th 2009 - 12st 5lb -2 = - 78 lbs

I HAVE NOW REACHED MY FIRST YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH WW !! I HAVE LOST 78LBS SINCE LAST SEPTEMBER, BUT 91 LBS SINCE JANUARY 2008..... YIPPEE !!!

THATS A GRAND TOTAL OF 6 ST 7LBS SINCE JANUARY '08 !!! :o))))) XX

WK 53 September 18th 2009 -12st 7lb +2 = -76 lbs ( 89 lbs)

WK 54 September 25th 2009 - 12st 6lb -1 = -77 lbs

WK 55 October 2nd 2009 - 12st 5 lb - 1 = -78 lbs (91 lbs)

WK 56 October 9th 2009 - 12st 4lb - 1 = -79 lbs

WK 57 October 16th 2009 - 12st 5lb + 1 = - 78 lbs

WK 58 October 23rd 2009 - 12st 4lb -1 = -79 lbs

WK 59 October 30th 2009 - 12st 4lb STS = -79lbs

WK 60 November 6th 2009 - 12st 1lb -3 = -82lbs... (95lbs)

WK 61 November 13th 2009 - 12st 0lb -1 = -83lbs..

WK 62 November 20th 2009 - 12st 1lb +1 = -82lbs

WK 63 November 27th 2009 - 12st 0lb -1 = -83lbs

WK 64 December 4th 2009 - 11st 13 lb -1 = - 84lbs (97lbs)

WK 65 December 11th 2009 - 12st 2 lb +3 = -81lbs (94lbs)

WWOOOOOHHHHOOOOOO !!! ...........

2009-11-06T13:14:00.004Z

I lost a whopping 3 lbs !!!!!!!!!!!!! Im now 12st 1 lb ....... :O)))

Over the blooming moon :O))))))...... *does a little dance around the living room, runs up the stairs and jumps from the top......OUCH! * ..... ;O))

Yippeee - de - do - dah !!!! Can you tell Im happy ?!!!

I was invited to my daughters school for dinner yesterday. Knowing it was weigh day this morning, I was nervous about it, but went anyway. I had a roast chicken dinner, and for afters.... chocolate crunch and custard... how could I refuse ?? So I had that and still managed to lose my staggering 3lbs !!! AND Ive got my TOTM aswell !!! Wow to say Im pleased is putting it mildly x x x x

nervous .... excited.... nervous.... excited....

2009-11-03T11:35:00.003Z

Oooooooohhhhh.... Im nervous and excited and trying to stay calm. I think Ive found a 3 bedroom bungalow that we can afford :) ........ went to view it last night and its llllooooovvvvveeeeeelllllyyyyyyy !!!!! Must keep my feet on the ground !!x

what a brill weekend :O) ....

2009-11-01T18:05:00.003Z

Hi guys...

Feeling really happy today. Ive had a lovely weekend. Firstly Friday I met up for lunch with the lovely Karon. We went to Prezzo this time, which was lovely. We shared a garlic bread for starters and had a lovely meal... I think it was called pollo siciania ??!! Grilled chicken breast, with tomatoes, pancetta, and cheese over the top.... delicious !! This was served with gratinated potatoes...potatoes in more cheese....ooooops !! And there was me moaning about my weight on Friday !! Must try harder !! It really was delicious, and have pointed it at around 13, but not sure if thats right .. :O/.....if anyone knows any different, I would really appreciate it . It was lovely seeing Karon again, we always natter for a few hours, but it never seems enough time. Looking forward to the next time x

So Saturday was halloween if you hadn't noticed ! As explained earlier, I was going out as a witch with a group of friends from my local pub..... oh boy !! What a night !! Didnt end up going home til 2 in the morning with hubby, ever so slightly rat-arsed :) ...... sang my little heart out on the karaoke, danced til I dropped, and discovered I can still do the splits !!! WTF !!! .... what a giggle. A great night was had by all. Hope you like the piccy's ...x
All in all .... a lovely weekend... hope you all had a great weekend too. For the first time in ages, I feel good x x

P.s..... I had a naughty SP on Saturday morning, the scales said 12st 2 !! Yay !!... this morning (Sunday) they said 12st 1lb.... YAY !! I know its not set in stone until Friday, and I realise the drop today is probably due to dehydration from my night out, but the Saturday morning SP at 12st 2lb ..........is a loss of 2 pounds.... fingers crossed it stays like that x x x

I was going to give up ..... but

2009-10-30T09:15:00.004Z

Well I got weighed this morning, and Im fed up to report a STS. Still 12st 4lb, and Ive been looking back over my last few weeks results, I have only lost 1 blooming pound since September 11th.... now thats shit .

I know where Im going wrong. Partly the reason I think is because Im struggling on 19 pts a day. Somehow I only manage about 4 out of 7 days a week within my points, and then the other days, Im usually a few over. I know its also lack of exercise and the occasional naughty meals out, but I have no desire to exercise or even walk at all at the moment. Don't know why, just cant be asked. My weight has stuck at 12st 4lbs all bloody week !!!!! ggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ............... I was so fed up this morning, I actually found myself saying to hubby this morning.... OH WHATS THE POINT...SOD IT !! Actually feeling like giving up for a while.......

I came on here to log my weight, obviously Im still keen to do that, so the desire to give up is just a knee jerk reaction to a couple of months wasted, messing about with these few bloody pounds that go up, then down, then up, then down.......what a waste. I could have been into those blooming 11's by now if I had of kept up the exercise , or learnt how to survive on 19 pts ... :O( .... CRAP !!

Anyway, Im so glad I logged on here this morning. Reading through your blogs is such a huge help. I started reading Sheilagh's, who I love following http://slimsexysassysixty.blogspot.com/ . She has written a lovely post this morning about the seeds of change. She has also made a link to an impressive post written by Mary at http://mepschronicles.blogspot.com/ which talks about making your life worthwhile. Look for the Favourite posts on the right hand side and find the one that says Making your life worthwhile. My word what a read that is. It certainly opens up your mind, and makes you realise what you can achieve. It gives you hope, enthusiasm when all else is failing, in fact its quite an eye opener. Go see for yourselves. Thank you for sharing that find Sheilagh x

So with re-newed optimism, a new strength, a new view of where Im going .... here comes a better week ........I will do this, I can do this, I will not give up .......... x

pumpkins, outfits.... and darts !x

2009-10-28T15:40:00.003Z

Ok so its half term this week, and of course halloween on the weekend, so my youngest daughter wanted to get a pumpkin . We went and got one on Monday, and spent the afternoon creating our masterpiece !!! And here he is..........

Looks pretty good if I do say so. Shannon my youngest did most of the work, but being a very clumsy 10 year old, I supervised whilst she had the kitchen knife in her hand :O/ .......

Anyway, what do you guys have planned for halloween ? I have been invited out with Maggie the landlady from our local, and a whole group of others to go to a halloween type party at a pub. Here is a link to my costume .........

http://www.matalan.co.uk/pws/ProductDetails.ice?ProductID=7400

I wish it would look that good on me !!! I will keep you posted about the nights events .. lol !!

Also out tomorrow night. Ive been asked to play darts for the pub ..... eeeeeekkkk.... Im really not very good, but Im sure it will be a giggle. No pressure.....its a knockout match in the womens dart league.... :O/ .... I dont hold out much hope !!

Ok .... so the nominations are ......

2009-10-26T08:51:00.008Z

As some of you may already know, I received this lovely blog award from the lovely Sheilagh, whom I would like to thank.... your wonderful Sheilagh, thank you so much for this super award. I feel very honoured to have received it, so thank you very much. Sheilagh is a very special person who always finds the time for other people, and who listens and offers a friendly word or two when needed. For that I send you a million (((hugs))) x

Sheilaghs link to her blog is http://slimsexysassysixty.blogspot.com ... Im sure those of you that dont already know the lovely Sheilagh, will soon be reading her wonderful blog, and following her journey of ups and downs. Its a great read, so get over there for a look x

Ok , so before I nominate, there are a few things I need to do.

Thank the person who nominated me Done

Copy the award and place it on my blog Done

Link to the person who nominated me Done

Name 6 things people might find interesting er....Done (see below)

Nominate 7 bloggers Done

Post links to the bloggers I nominate Done

Ok so the six things that people may find interesting ...... mmmm....eeerrrr.....huummm..... ok....

I love painting pictures

I am only 5ft 2" :O(

I took my daughters to Florida ALL BY MYSELF 4 years ago for 2 weeks .... (very brave for me)

I can type at 50 wpm

Im madly, deeply in love with Simon Cowell.... :O)

I love to be snuggled up warm and cosy in front of the fire, with candles on, having my feet rubbed by hubby :O)

Not sure you will find that list interesting, but its a few of the things I love .... (especially Simon Cowell :OP ....)

OK, this has been very hard as there are so many lovely people out there, and I would love to send a lot more awards, but alas I can only send 7... :O( ...... but the 7 nominess for the blog award, in no particular order are as follows ..... I have chosen these people because they inspire me with their determination, they amaze me with their wisdom and strength, they are people with their own struggles with either personal or weight issues that have so much fight in them that I admire them..... they are all people that take the time to listen to others, help and advise others .....and they are people that I think are very, very special....

Wonderful Sheilagh..... http://slimsexysassysixty.blogspot.com/

Lovely Karon ...... http://twinklestrek.blogspot.com/

Amazing Angela ...... http://aguilleg.blogspot.com/

Fantastic Jackie ...... http://shrinking-thinking.blogspot.com/

Super Kari ...... http://fat-free-me.blogspot.com/

Delightful Sarah ..... http://thinfor30.blogspot.com/

Terrific Jo ...... http://jowantsasmallbum.blogspot.com/

Like I say, this list could go on.... there are many wonderful people out there, whom I enjoy hearing about. Sadly Im only allowed to choose 7 :O( ..... but a very worthy 7 they are.. :O) Thank you all for making my journey much more enjoyable .... I dont know what I would do without you all x x x x

2009-10-26T07:52:00.003Z

Hi guys....

Hope you all had a lovely weekend. Its been a disaster points-wise this week for me to be honest !! At the moment I am facing a points deficit of 30 ....eeeeeekkkkkk !!! This has resulted from a lovely meal out for mums birthday which I mentioned in my last post, and another lovely meal out with hubby Saturday night... which consisted of Pate with toast for starters, steak and chips with garlic/butter sauce...(only got about 10 chips though :O( ) , and for afters a delicious chocolate nut brownie served with vanilla ice-cream .....oh boy !! That really was the highlight of the evening..... I very rarely do desserts, but my God that was good !! However on the plus side to all this naughty-ness.... I made my first ever 0 point soup on Sunday....blooming lovely if I do say so myself !! Carrot, onion and cauliflower soup.... :OP .... !! Yesterday I managed to stay within points, below by 3 in fact .... so the claw back has begun....!! Having said all of this, an SP this morning is showing a STS !!! So to say Im gobsmacked is putting it mildly. MUST, MUST be good for the rest of the week ......

Ok the new job. Well I went in bright and early Saturday morning. I was there for 8.20. I wore a jacket, trousers, and shirt (see piccy). I was shown around, and introduced to people, all of which seemed really nice. Customers started arriving around 9 am, and believe me, it got really busy. The launch of the BMW X1 and the BMW 5 GT was a big hit. A couple of definate sales, starting from at least £22,000 ......wow..... and there was me thinking there was a recession on :o/ ..... Anyhow, I was told not to worry about the phones on my first day, and when she explained the job, it is basically answering the phone and making tea and coffee. To be honest, I thought there would be more involved. I was really after a job with a lot more admin , and really can't justify spending every single Saturday, all day, 8.30 til 5pm, just answering a phone and making tea .... nah !! Not for me. On Saturday I must have made at least 80 drinks for people.... I felt like a waitress. So , short and sweet, but I have decided not to continue. I have posted a letter (yes I know Im a coward !!), and half expecting the phone to ring any minute as I type this !!! Will have to speak to Lucy at some point I know....for once Im doing what I want to do, rather than doing it to please other people... YAY !!

Ok so feeling positive today.... Im going to sit down with pen and paper and do a list of the blogs Im going to send the lovely award to... I haven't forgotten, just so much going on !! Boy this is going to be a hard task .....

Have a good day guys, and I will be back with results , later ....... x x x x

weigh in, mums birthday and new job....

2009-10-23T18:47:00.002+01:00

Hi guys...

Had my weigh in today and I lost a pound. Back to 12st 4lbs now. Im not particularly happy with that result because I thought I had been really good all week and deserved possibly 2 pounds, but hey, a pound is a pound and its in the right direction. My scales don't have half pounds, or quarter pounds on them, but they did take a little while to settle on 12st 4lb and were flicking on 12st 2lb and then jumping to 12st 4lb, so Im either thinking get some blooming new scales, or take it as a pound lost this week, and hopefully more next week. Fingers crossed for a good week ahead.
However, having said that, bad start to the week for me. Its my mums birthday today, and I took mum, and my 3 daughters out for lunch today. We went to a lovely place, The Rushbrook Arms, nr Bury St Edmunds, and thoroughly enjoyed our meals. I took a while to decide between burger with cheese and bacon on it with chips and salad, or beef and ale pie with mashed potato carrots, leeks and gravy. I eventually, after a lot of dithering, opted for the pie..... it was absolutely delicious. Lovely thick pastry, big chunks of beef and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Dont even know where to begin with pointing it, but have allowed 14.5 points for the pie and then added 5 for the mash, gravy and vegetables. Not sure if the points are right, but I would rather over estimate than under estimate. Please don't tell me its more than this !! Im already over points by 10 for the day....!!! Im sure I will pull these back by next Friday though.
Tomorrow is my first day of my new job at the BMW garage. I rang the lady today, just to confirm what I should wear and where I should park. I have to wear a suit, but I only own a jacket, but she said that would be fine , with smart shirt and trousers.....oooohhh I hope this isn't going to be too posh for me... lol !! I have to be there at 8.30 in the morning, and they are launching 2 brand new cars tomorrow....talk about being thrown in at the deep end !! Anyway will see how I get on. Just hope there is nothing too complicated, as I am hardly brain of Britain !! Im sure I will be back to fill you in over the weekend !!
Anyway guys, I know I still havent got round to sending the lovely award out that wonderful Sheilagh sent to me (bless ya), but I will, as soon as I find some time......I hope you all have a lovely weekend. ta-ra for now x x x

I got the job !!

2009-10-19T21:34:00.002+01:00

Oh my God !! I got the job ! Im really shocked !! Spoke to the lady this morning and she confirmed they wanted to offer me the job, and that she would put a letter in the post to me straight away. She also said she wants me to come in on Saturday for a few hours to see how things are done. It will be busier than normal on Saturday as they have a launch of something.... probably another bright shiney new BMW...... I wonder if Im pushing my luck to ask for a company car !!!!! (only joking) ... lol . Part of me is excited about this job, as I really need the money, but another part is thinking do I really need to add something else to my list of things to do ? There is no harm in trying it for a month.... who knows, I may really enjoy it. Fingers crossed that I do as the money will definately come in handy .
As for the diet, head down and focused (so far), and just about staying within points. A good week ahead me thinks, hopefully a good loss too x

catch up ....

2009-10-18T09:34:00.003+01:00

Although I blogged on Friday, I forgot to mention a few things. Im sure Im going senile ??!!**

My beautiful daughter Sophie had her 14th birthday on Friday. We had a few of her friends over for tea, aswell as my in-laws :O/ , and my mum, (brothers are still not talking to me so F*ck em).. we had a few nibbles on the table e.g, sausage rolls, pizza, crisps, cocktail sausages....etc, etc, ....I did my best not to over indulge, ended up going over by about 3 , so not too bad. The birthday girl and her friends wanted to sleep in a tent in the garden, so eventually at 2 am , they clambered in, I had gone to bed much earlier than this... getting too old for that !! I think they all enjoyed themselves.... picture above shows them crawling out in the morning... bottle of WKD for breakfast ..lol (only joking) ... they shared one bottle before bed , and still didn't finish it !!

Forgot to tell you also that I went for an interview for a receptionist job, to work just on Saturdays. Could do with the money, and as its only Saturdays, I can hold on to my receptionist job during the week that I do at the Osteopaths. This new job is a receptionist job at a BMW garage. The interview went well on Thursday afternoon, and low and behold they have called and left me a message on my answer phone on Friday afternoon, wanting to speak to me. I think it may be good news, but Im not sure. They have said for me to ring back on Monday morning which I will try to do. Thing is Im doing overtime for my regular job and working Monday morning this week aswell, so will have to try and fit that in somewhere. In fact , I have a really busy week this week. Working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and on Friday its my mums birthday and would like to take her for lunch that day... so by the end of the week I will be shattered.....and half term starts Friday too so the kids will be off for another week....bloody teacher training days...what the hell ? If they are not trained, why are they doing the job in the first place !! And , how many training days do they need for heaven sake...at least 8 a year....why cant they be done in half term.....??!!! Grrr rant over !! lol... Where the hell did that half term go anyway !! Perhaps I should have applied for a job as a teacher....mmmm.... :O/ .... maybe not !! I know all you teachers out there do a great job and I for one know I couldnt do it !! ;o) ....

Anyway changing the subject... to all of you guys out there on 19 points or less, please tell me how you do it !! Im struggling big time to stay within 19 points. Each day I seem to go over by about 3 or 4 and this all adds up. Strange, because when I was on 20 points, it didn't seem to bad. Maybe I need to review what Im eating.... perhaps the walkers crisps, and mayonnaise are going to either have to go, or be reviewed...mmmm.... I suppose one dollop of full fat mayo (2 pts) and 1 packet of walkers cheese and onion (2 pts) is 4 points wasted.... :o/ .... need to have a look at this me thinks..... dont want to give up my only luxuries .. *sob* *sob* ... :O( ........

WALKERS CRISPS/ MAYONNAISE ... OR ...... INTO THE 11 'S ??? = into the 11's :O) x x

To any of you who feel like giving up in life.....

2009-10-16T17:00:00.005+01:00

.... I found this on facebook and really made me think, and made me cry....

If ever you feel like giving up, remember, there is always someone worse off than yourself. What an inspiration this man is x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFJ3OVgVQvI

weigh in ......and photo shoot..

2009-10-16T10:52:00.003+01:00

Hi all....

Sorry I haven't blogged at all this week. Had a busy, but good week, so feeling good right now.
Firstly we had our wonderful photo shoot on Monday at New ID in London. It was a great, but an eventful day, in more ways than one !! lol ... can't wait to get the piccys. Have seen them on the New Id computer, but as we did not give in and pay for the copyright cd of the pics..(A another £600 flipping pounds !!)... we now have to wait for the few we did choose to arrive. As it was, we had already laid out £300 between us, I really dont think we need pictures of ourselves that badly to cough up nearly a thousand. So we were good and stuck to our money. Having said that, the pictures of my daughter (which we viewed on the computer) were stunning, absolutely stunning (the photographer made it blooming obvious he fancied her), but who can blame him, she looked amazing. Will pop piccys on here when I get them. The piccys which we viewed of me, are ok, one in particular is really nice, but Im not a great fan of piccys of myself, I always find too many faults..lol...
The day started bright and early catching the coach in Newmarket at 8.35. We were dropped off there at 7.30 by hubby on his way to work, otherwise we would of had to get a taxi, and that would have cost a fortune. Got to London, which was fine. Had an hour and a half to kill before our appointment at New Id, so popped into a London restaurant/pub for lunch. We both had chicken breasts with bacon and cheese and BBQ sauce served with chips and salad. I scraped every bit of cheese off, so halo polish there, however, did devour the chips with no problem !! Whilst eating our lunch, I needed a trip to the loo. When I got back there was a man sitting on his own, next to our table, who happened to be talking to my daughter. She started pulling weird faces at me when he wasnt looking and I could soon see why. I arrived at the table, and he started speaking to me.... he was an Irish Gay man who happened to be deaf !! He was so Gay bless him. I have no problem with that whatsoever, but the things he was telling us, I would of had a job telling my best friend !! He told us about being paid to have sex, once he got £400 from a man in a Brighton hotel for one night, and that he dresses up as a woman, that he would give the poor old man on another table near us who happened to look like father christmas a w--k for £25 .... and it just went on an on !! We were so trying not to laugh, nearly peeing ourselves, because of the way he spoke, .... luckily we each escaped with a kiss on the cheek and a nice to meet you...... we absolutely cracked up when we left the restaurant !
We then went to New Id, a bit of waiting around which was ok, but my daughter started to feel poorly. Really bad headache and achey all over. She nearly didnt do the photo shoot bless her, but I kept on persuading her that it would only be another hour or so and then we would be on our way home. So she did the shoot and looked stunning...wish I looked like that now, let alone when ill !!
Anyway, the salesman at new id kept us in his room for nearly an hour until he finally realised we were not budging from our original money laid down. He was not impressed. I kept saying we really had to go, we had a coach to get at 6.30 from Victoria coach station, and we were still in New ID, near Oxford street at 6.10 !!! We signed the papers and legged it jumping into a taxi saying we had to be at Victoria by 6.30...that poor taxi man tried bless him to put his foot down, as much as you can in a London rush hour....poor thing.... we got held up by every blooming red traffic light, but eventually arrived . Kirsty ran for the coach which was about to leave without us, while I tried running with 3 huge bags of clothes and shoes, (which was a sight Im sure !) , climbed aboard the coach, red faced, and apologetic for making people wait for us. They were lovely though, all chuckled when I clambered up the steps.... so glad Im thinner now, or I would have been well embarrassed doing that in front of everyone ..... !!
Anyway, we enjoyed our day, are now anxiously awaiting our piccys which could take a few weeks, hope they hurry up !!

And last, but not least ...... I gained a blooming pound this week.... back to 12 st 5 lbs .... dont know how, lack of water I think, but hey..... another week ahead. Going to get my serious head on this week. I want to get into those pesky 11's by either my birthday or Christmas.... Ive been messing around in the 12's now for a long time......

Hope you are all well. I will try and get around to your blogs you lovely people and Aguilleg, I am definately going to try and get round to emailing you this weekend. Thank you and Im sorry its taking so long !!

Love and hugs to you all ..... x x x x x

weigh in , pamper day , and families ......

2009-10-11T17:23:00.004+01:00

A little bit late this week with posting my weigh in result to you .... I lost another pound. Im now 12st 4 lb. Its coming off at a steady pace now at a pound a week. Pleased with that, especially considering totm arrived the same day. Its still weird though, Im averaging slightly over my points each week, where as about a month ago I wouldn't dream of doing that. So maybe my body does need a couple more points a day than Im allowing it to keep the weight coming off. Think I will re-take the points quiz and see what it says.....

Im feeling a bit better about things now, thanks to you guys and my lovely doctor, hubby and girls. You have all been amazing and I would like to thank you again for your lovely comments. You really help me to realize that other people do understand how I feel. As for my hubby and girls they have been great too. We have just spent all day together shopping and having a roast dinner at home that hubby cooked and then playing charades .... that was a giggle !! I really must learn how to relax and enjoy myself more ... last night it was a movie, popcorn and pyjamas kind of night ... all of us together ... it was great. Cant remember the last time I did that with them all .

On the subject of my mum, no-one else had taken her food shopping since my outburst last Saturday night. A week has gone by and not one of my brothers or their partners thought for one minute ... perhaps mum needs to go shopping !! I knew they wouldnt. So I took her food shopping yesterday with my hubby. She has to eat after all. Ive cut out all the dusting, hoovering, sorting her bins out, bed changing, and going round to see her everyday. I do feel a bit guilty, but do you know what ... I have slept solidly for 3 nights now which I never normally do , and I feel more chilled. I do feel slightly guilty , but I have to do this for my own sanity. It just goes to show what my brothers are like though.... they are not talking to me and still have not done anything for mum..... they are bloody pathetic !! Would love to strangle them both, but they are not worth doing time for !!

Tomorrow I have my lovely day in London to look forward to .... pamper day.... make-up , hair , and photo shoot with my eldest daughter ... I cant wait !! Will pop piccy's on here when I get them all ....

Anyway guys, hope your having a lovely weekend. As I said before, your all brill , and I would like to send you all some beautiful flowers ..... so here they are at the top.... sorry they are not real .... but the thought is there . Speak to you soon guys xxxxxxxxxx

Families ............

2009-10-08T18:55:00.004+01:00

A big thank you to all of you who commented on my last post and wished me well. It really meant an awful lot to me. Do you know something, not one member of my family have picked up the phone and asked if I'm ok. Not one. For all they know, I could of had a nervous breakdown, because I have never behaved like that before to them, EVER ! Surely one of them must think... is Tina ok ? But no, so I'm starting to come to terms with just worrying about me , my hubby and my girls.
I went to the doctor as planned. Hubby came with me and the doctor was great. He said he wished I had of booked a double appointment, because he wanted to spend some time talking to me. As it is, he spent 25 minutes talking to me. Way over his allotted time I'm sure.
He has made me realise that I really have to stop trying to do everything. That my family really need to take their turn now, because for 4 years, since my Dad died, I have been there for Mum 100% . Ive done everything I can for her. He has also made me realise that it is not my fault that Mum won't go out anywhere. He told me that Mum does have other choices like get a mobility scooter, a wheelchair, or use her walker frame that I bought her over a year ago that she has never used. He made me realise that she could do so much more for herself than she does now.
All this time, I have taken it upon myself to be there for her. To try and fill some of the empty hours in her day. To try and make life a little easier for her. Every time I have gone out these last couple of years, I have always said to hubby I should ask Mum to come with us. Almost feeling guilty about doing things when I know she is stuck in her house. But now, thanks to that doctor, he has opened my eyes to what is really happening here. I don't have to feel guilty. I have a family, a house, a job of my own to look after. Of course Mum is still important to me, but its time the others took their turn.
So this week I haven't done anything. I went over once with an apology letter to my mum. We talked about things, but from what I can see , she has gone into sulk mode now. When I popped over to see her Wednesday morning, she was actually dressed, and took her bin out !!!!! She hasn't done that in months !! Iv'e always rushed round to do it because she has asked me to !!
And today I have not gone round there .... it feels strange... usually after work I go straight to the shop to get her bread and milk and take it round.... I wonder who got it for her today ??
Part of me feels bad for letting her cope. But do you know what .... part of me feels free .... free to do what I need to do for my house and family.... free to go shopping without her.... I feel that I have some of my life back.
The doctor has given me some leaflets on stress and depression, and a couple of questionnaires to fill in about depression and wants to see me again in 2 weeks for a double appointment. Im so glad I went to see him. He spoke so much sense. Hopefully I can avoid going on anti-depressants as I have been on them before , but if thats what I need, then so be it. Right now, Im feeling better than I did this time last week, so thats got to be good.
Thank you once again to you wonderful people for caring. Your words of support really mean a lot to me. My brothers obviously don't care, so stuff them , thats what I say. I know in my own heart that I have done much more than my fair share, and if this one incident is enough to become the black sheep of the family, then so be it x

Depression, nervous breakdown ?......

2009-10-04T18:03:00.003+01:00

Im going to the doctors tomorrow. Just dont seem to be able to cope with things at the moment. Feeling really down, tearful, falling out with everyone because of drinking too much. Can't sleep properly...... Im turning into something I dont want to be.....
Ive upset my beautiful girls, and I have had a major falling out with my brother (blurted out a few home truths when drunk that he didn't like) such as he does not lift one finger to help my mum. He told me I was out of order... OUT OF ORDER !! What a fucking cheek!! My mum is angry with me for having a go at him. Its all gone wrong because I got drunk..... Im not apologising to my brother though, he has had this coming for a long time, problem is when Im sober, I never have the courage to say I need help. But now its all come out in a bad way...... and Im so fed up......

Stress, stress and more stress.....

2009-10-02T18:35:00.002+01:00

So Friday is here again, and yet another week has flown past. And with it being Friday, another weigh day has arrived. I have actually lost another pound !! Dont ask me how, as I ended up 16pts over for the week...thats two weeks running now that I have been way over points... and both weeks, I have lost a pound !! Weird !! I certainly do not deserve the pound off, but in my defence, my head is back to it 100%, my bum is black and blue from all the kicking's you lovely lot gave me (thank you), and it is firmly stuck with super-glue back on the wagon !! Long may it continue !

Work has been quite stressful this week. Bad atmosphere there at the moment. Im a receptionist at an Osteopath Surgery, and because business wasn't too good at the beginning of the year, we receptionists took a 20% pay cut. Considering what we earn, compared to the Osteopaths....who incidently took only a 2.5% paycut.... losing 20% of my wages has made quite an impact on my life for sure. Anyway to cut a long story short, the boss still says business is not too good, although the amount of new patients coming in, Im beginning to wonder about that. We had a meeting with him, and we asked for our wages back, but we were told no. Hmph !! I wouldnt mind, but Im being expected to do loads of extra work, that the practice manager can't keep up with, for no extra pay !!! I have now had to apply for another job to work all day Saturdays, just to make my money up.... feel a bit pipped off about that.

Not only work has been stressful this week. Home-life is pretty shit too. Have not been talking to hubby all week, apart from the occasional yes and no in all of the right places. He really upset me last week before I went out. His insecurities are starting to surface, but I never thought he would go as far as he did. He said and done some very hurtful things, and I have not found it in my heart to forgive him yet. I told lovely Karon about it, and we met up today for a chat over a diet coke. Thank you Karon, I really appreciated the chat. I know I have found a very special friend there.

Anyway, thats life at the moment, maybe whats been going on has had an impact on my eating, I'm not sure. Don't want to make excuses, as at the end of the day we are all responsible for what we put in our mouths .... oh god , that doesn't sound good.... so I'm off *blushes* and runs off to hide :o/ ...

Have a good weekend everyone, if you can't be good, be careful ;o) x

Someone please give me a kick up the bum.....

2009-09-29T16:13:00.002+01:00

Losing the plot .... AGAIN !! Thats two weeks running now !! Im over points by 21.5 , and weigh in day is Friday..... HELP !!

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO GIVE ME A GOOD KICK UP THE BUM..... thank you x

10 things I want to achieve before I die.

2009-09-28T10:26:00.004+01:00

Ok I have been thinking and I have compiled a list of ten things I want to do or achieve before I die... here goes....

Ride on a camel (I would love to do that) - to do
Go horse riding again (I used to love doing that as a child, but havent done it since being so big) - to do
Go to the Carribean - to do
Go on the London Eye and not be scared - to do
Go in a Limousine - to do
Keep my weight off forever - to do
Move house - to do
Go back to Florida again - to do
Stay happy and healthy and have grandchildren - to do
Be turned away from a night club for being too drunk - DONE !!!!! YAY !!!!

I've reached the grand old age of 40 and get turned away from a night club and get told to .....*go away and sober up* !!!

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry...but now think of it as a kind of triumph... lol !!! My only regret is I didn't get to meet up with Karon, who successfully got in the night-club !! Next time Karon .... thats for sure ;O)

Needless to say..... a good night was had :O) xx

shopping trip .. :O(

2009-09-26T15:13:00.003+01:00

Is it just me, or am I the only self-critical person in the world ? I have such a downer on my body despite being 6 and a half stone lighter than the beginning of last year. Most people would be over the moon. But me, all I ever seem to do is is criticize myself when I'm trying on new clothes. It really bugs me.

I have just spent 3 hours exploring every shop in the new shopping centre near home. Im going out tonight, so wanted to treat myself to something new. I must have gone in every blooming shop... New look, Monsoon, H & M, Peacocks, Debenhams.... you name it, I went there ! I must have picked up every dress, every top, every skirt.... gggrrrr and with everything I found a reason why it wouldn't look good on me. "It wont look nice because I dont like my arms" , or "it won't look nice because its too clingy" or "it wont look nice because its too coloured , too patterend , too black or too bloody short .....ggggrrrrrrrrrr !! And to top it all off , I keep finding myself thinking ...... "I can't wear that because I'm too bloody OLD " ...... gggrrrrr.... what is wrong with me :O( .

Weigh in result......

2009-09-25T14:18:00.003+01:00

This dieting mallarkey never fails to amaze me . Im 20 points over for last week, get weighed this morning and I've lost a pound :O))))) ..... how the hell did that happen ? I even sp after my very heavy weekend and it was saying I had gained 3, so I jumped straight back on the wagon again on Monday saving points each day, and low and behold I've managed to lose a pound !!! I'm now 12st 6lb !! To say I'm chuffed is an understatement, shocked would be another word I'd use, and to be honest feel extremely lucky to have swung it in my favour.
I feel like I'm learning all the time about my body's weird little tricks it plays. I'm not recommending to everyone to go out, eat fish and chips, get hammered, and then have chinese, not at all, but bloody hell it worked for me !! lol !! It just seems my body needs a real splurge sometimes, followed by being super good, it gets things moving..... well thats my theory anyway ! Same principle as the wendie plan I guess, although my super heavy day was super, super heavy day'ssssss !! lol .
Well what are you guys up to this weekend? I have another night out to look forward to with my friend Linda tomorrow night. We are hitting the pubs of Newmarket. Looking forward to that. Honestly since I had my whinge a couple of months ago about never going out, I have literally been out every weekend !! Don't think I have ever gone out as much as this, better make the most of it !! The only trouble I have is what to wear . I feel a shopping trip coming on :O)))) ...... Then on Sunday we have been invited to have dinner around the in-laws. Although its kind of them to ask, we don't really see eye to eye and to be honest, am not too keen on them at all, but I will try to make the best of it. Just take a deep breath and it will be over in a few hours.....
Have a great weekend guys.

If you have fallen off the wagon recently.......

2009-09-22T10:27:00.006+01:00

Hi guys.

I was having a play on the computer this morning and found this on google..... it certainly made me think. If you have fallen off the wagon lately, this may just help you realise why you shouldnt give up x
The weekend is over and you have fallen off the wagon. It's now time to get serious!

This weight loss riddle will get you back on track, back on the wagon ... presidential style!!!There's no need to give up!

You've decided to make scrambled eggs for breakfast. You take three eggs from the refrigerator. As you are oh so gracefully moving toward the counter, one falls from your hand and smashes on the floor.

What do you do?

1. Clean it up.
2. Make two scrambled eggs instead of three.
3. Get another egg from the fridge.

-or-

4. Throw the other two eggs on the floor and say 'screw it!'

Weight loss is a process. Falling off the wagon and finding yourself a bit bruised and bloated is par for the course. There's no need to throw your eggs on the floor and give up!

Those who reach their weight loss goals are simply the ones who get back on the wagon - again and again. (Personally, I've fallen so many times, it's become a part of my exercise program.) Those who succeed experience these setbacks as temporary lapses. They understand that there are no magic bullets, no quick fixes. The turtle wins this race.

Here are a few thoughts and tips to help you pick yourself up and climb back on the wagon!

How to Pull Yourself Up from the Boot Straps in four Easy Steps

1. Practice Loving-Kindness. Please stop being hard on yourself and saying mean things to yourself, too! (If someone else called you a fat pig, you'd punch them in the nose!)
2. Helping others stay on track is a way of keeping yourself on track.
3. Write Out Your List of Reasons: I want to lose weight because ____________. (fill in the blank and be honest) . "Be healthy. Look younger. Be socially acceptable. Make that rat who left me feel real bad."
4. The 80/20 Rule. No one is perfect 100% of the time. If you follow your weight loss plan 80% of the time, and treat yourself to an occasional treat 20% of the time, you should be able to achieve and maintain your weight loss goals.

I like this. I think this lady speaks a lot of sense . Hope it helps x

OMG.... I need to confess :O(

2009-09-20T14:56:00.005+01:00

OMG, what am I doing ? I need to confess.... I am a PIG :O( !!!!!

I have had absolutely no self control whatsoever !!! What on earth is going on ?

I went out for lunch with my lovely friend Karon on Friday and ended up choosing cod, chips and peas at 15.5 pts ... eeeeekkkk. This was at 2 o clock. By evening, when it suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't fed hubby and the kids (completely forgot the poor things..lol), it was 8pm so they decided to go and get burger and chips....of course by then I was getting peckish so indulged in a handful of chips and bite of burger...all pointed but I ended up having 27 pts for the day instead of 19 .... disaster day number 1 . Over pts by 8 :(

Then Saturday arrives. We decide late in the day to go to see my uncle Frank and cousins as they were having a bit of a do in Northampton. Set off travelling at 7pm, got half an hour into our journey when we are diverted. Cannot get on the blooming A14 !!! Frigging road works. Diversions took us around in a circle , and an hour later we were no nearer. Sat Nav was not helping.... I swear if I heard her say RE-CALCULATING one more bloody time I would have thrown it out the blooming window !!!! It was pitch black, hubby was losing his temper and we ended up going back towards home, apologising to my family that we would not be able to come. We ended up going to our local for a drink to calm ourselves down. 7 vodka's and diet coke later, the landlady decides to order chinese to be delivered.....what did I hear myself say.... We will have some !!! What the hell ???!!!! Ended up having sweet and sour chicken balls and egg fried rice... 20 bloody pts !!!! Disaster day number 2 :( ...

Have now been eating flapjack and cookie that my daughters had attempted to make, I am now over my pts by bloody 30 ... and its still only 3pm and I haven't had my dinner yet :O((((

THIS IS HOW THE SLIPPERY SLOPE BEGINS.... AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH !!!

HELP !!!